what if i could do both?

i watched a documentary on my hero,
stevie ray vaughan the other day.
i didn’t like it.
i felt like they missed everything that
mattered. they missed all of his soul.

but i’m glad i saw it anyway,
cause it got me thinking about him all over again.

he really was a catalyst in my life changing.
i saw his passion.
i saw how he lost himself in what he did
and connected to something beyond him.
i saw something i wanted in my own life.

and it wasn’t long after that when my life exploded.

all these years later – post explosion – i think about my journey
into finding my own passion, my own connections to source,
my own ways of getting lost in something beyond me.

and what i see as i look back is this incredible
road into getting healthier and healthier.

that’s something stevie didn’t have a chance to do.
he grew up in one heck of an environment and it truly
didn’t nurture healthy growth. finally he found sobriety
and i believe ┬áhe was turning toward healthy – but then he died.
he never had a chance to really work the getting his inner act together.
ohmygosh – if he had, i just can’t even imagine where he would have taken his life.

wow.

so i got to thinking about that –
what if i can do both?
what if i can find ways to connect to something beyond me,
to really live in my passion – AND – to really be healthy at the same time?
what if i’ve been working my way more and more into that space?

woe.
and once again the whole ‘being healthy’ idea takes on more than
i realized it could. once again, i am fueled to go down that road deeper and deeper.

and i am reminded to keep my passions in the forefront of my mind.

it is up to us what we choose to dance with and how we choose to dance.

stevie reminded me once again to fall head first right into that dance!