For Men
I think it was a few years back when the news was filled with the stories
of the child molestings in the Catholic Church. I'm not sure if it's because I grew
up Catholic, or because I had been molested myself (not related to the church) that
the stories just grabbed my heart.
And then when I saw the turning of heads, and the pretending and the hiding,
I grew sickened. I thought of my own experience. What would be worse - the actual
violation, or not having anyone believe me or listen to me, having people look the
other way?
Somewhere in there, I felt this urge to start reaching out to men. I pondered, and
sat with it and asked different men I met what they thought. And finally, finally,
I decided to dip my toes into bone sighs for men.
One of the big pushes for me is the silence that seems so much more prevalent for
men than for women. Women are much more likely to talk with each other, to find
someone to share with. While, obviously, that's not always true, my guess is it's much
more true for women than men. The thought of enduring that pain in silence - of having no
one to express your feelings with, was my final push to move forward.
One of the big hesitations for me is that I'm not male. I think one of the reasons bone sighs
do as well as they do is because they are authentic - you can feel their realness.
I didn't want a man to come along and be insulted or feel that I was stepping into
territory where I had no right to be. And so I wanted to write this explanation to make
it clear that my intentions are honorable, and that while I know men and women
are different, I honestly believe our emotions are the same. It is those emotions expressed
here that I hope will tie us together and help us all along on our journeys.
Let's break the silences, let's start talking about the pain, so that we can also talk about the healing.
And together, side by side, let's offer our light to the world. We are each other's candles.
