scaredy-cat

oh for pete’s sakes
i woke up this morning
and all the fear and doubts
decided to leap right up and greet me!

all the normal stuff you can imagine.
all the questions that would surface.
all the doubts.
all that.

and i gotta tell ya,
it all had me jittery and hoppin’ around
all over the darn place.

i couln’t focus on anything.
i was like this manic mess just goin’
from thing to thing.

til i finally hopped back into bed where
my husband was still sleeping and just
held him tight and told him i was scared!

and i know the answers to all the fears
and doubts. i know all that in my head.
it’s the ‘in my heart’ stuff i’m not so sure of,
and yet, that’s not true either.
i know it in my heart as well.

i just gotta either shut off the flow of craziness
that is gonna run thru me,
or let it run thru me and right on out.

so.
some more running around like a crazy person,
some snacking nervously,
and then some deep breaths,
some laughs,
and moving back into the day and the adventure.

the fear isn’t gonna save me.
it’s gonna stop me.

and so….
deep breathing and moving forward.