something happened this weekend
that had me sad, shaking my head,
and thinking that nothing lasts forever.
i’m sure it didn’t comfort my partner any,
when i curled in, cried on his shoulder and
said thru tears ‘nothing lasts.’
i’m thinking that wouldn’t have made me feel too settled
if the roles were reversed –
and perhaps i better back track and tell him what i came
up with since then –
i don’t think anything lasts forever.
and if we don’t pay attention to the changes,
and adjust and grow – the good part of stuff goes away.
BUT if we DO pay attention and change too,
incredible things can grow. it won’t be static.
it won’t be this thing we started out with,
it won’t be a certain anything –
it will be fluid and deep and real.
sure, you say.
that’s a no brainer.
for me, it’s a constant constant constant struggle to remember
and follow thru on.
i was thinking about my kids (all young men, but i call them ‘kids’
here on purpose) – i feel like the last year has been one heck of
a teacher for me in changing so that we have a real relationship.
i have had to learn that they aren’t my kids anymore. even if i
said i knew that but added something cute like ‘they’ll always be
no, they won’t.
young men are exactly that.
and unless i truly adapt and change along with them,
we won’t have a relationship of meaning.
so easy to say.
so darn hard to really truly deeply do.
it’s the same.
and if we’re not paying attention to the changes –
there’s a good chance that the good stuff will go away.
and things will die.
i let a relationship die this weekend.
it takes two to keep a relationship.
i believe we both killed it.
it makes me sad.
and it makes me aware.
and it makes me really really really want to keep changing.