live it fully

ah yeah…
it all started with the gutters.
well, let me see…

maybe i’ll just clip what i posted on the bone sigh arts facebook page –

let’s start there –

good morning! i was cleaning out my gutters yesterday evening and doin’ the ‘what if you only had a year to live’ question in my head – what would i change about my life? what would i do? (and for anyone actually facing this, i apologize. i am not trying to be insensitive. it was something that pops into my head here and there.) so it kinda occurred to me i wouldn’t do a whole lot different, i really like the things i do, but it’s HOW i would do them. so like cleaning the gutters, i might still do that if they needed cleaning, but i’d do it with so much more mindfulness. i’d appreciate my house and the sky and the leaves in the gutter. that kinda thing. then i realized that if i really only had a year to live, i wouldn’t have the energy to go carting the ladder around and gettin’ up and down to the gutters. so i realized what i was really figuring out was how i want to live NOW. it had nothing to do with dying. that’s a whole different story. one i prolly won’t understand til i get there.
so the living now – more intentional, more present, more aware, more in awe. i think i live that about 20% of my life right now. i thought ‘wow, what if i upped it to 60%?!’ – that doesn’t even seem that difficult, ya know?
so as i type this i’m hearing my clock ticking, i love that sound. mixed with my typing. another sound i love. and feeling the softness of this warm sweater bob got me, and thinking how lucky i am. i’ll be heading into a hot shower that i want to totally experience! so there’s a pretty good start, huh?! wanna ramp up your living a bit? let’s do this!

….

so that’s what’s on my mind.

someone commented on how she wouldn’t be cleaning the gutters
if she only had a year to live.
i had to grin.
of course she wouldn’t.
who would?!
i mean, really.
but um…
well…
i might.

cause like i say – i LIKE what i do – if i do it mindfully.
it can be most things.
there prolly ARE a few things i’d totally skip.
but gutter cleaning can be great fun, if i do it right.

so, that’s the thing –
it’s in the doing.
in the presence.
in the gratitude.

and this is what is on my mind today.

i am tired today.
but i keep thinking ‘so?’
‘live mindfully anyway!’

and i keep looking out the window.
because the trees are forever whispering that very thing.