Most of us have heard the phrase ‘your inner child.’
Some of us recognize this as a concept that can easily be worked with.
Others hear it as a warning that there’s a wacko in the room and that it’s time to run the other way.
Some are just never quite sure what exactly is meant by those words and don’t even know what
questions to ask to find out. And others know about it and consider it bunk.
So we’ve got quite a range of feelings towards this inner child idea.
I’m betting that there really is no one definition of what an inner child is or how it’s all supposed to work.
It’s one of those things you have to find on your own and see what works for you.
You create your own definition.
This offering is put together to help you do just that – to find your own definition of what an inner child is,
to encourage you to find new ways to explore inside you, and to let you know there’s others of us out
here who are traveling right alongside of you.
Some of you have survived abuse as children. This can cause all of the exploring to be scary and hard.
While I was molested as a child, in the scale of trauma I have heard from other women, I was extremely
lucky in that it wasn’t worse.
I was able to go back to that trauma in my mind. And even though it was really hard, it didn’t feel
impossible to me. I know women who feel this is impossible for them. Women who have experienced
so much pain that the very thought is enough to scare them into stopping right here. One woman told
me that her childhood was so difficult that she honestly believes her inner child died.
There are so many angles and feelings based on our experiences of the past.
If you have a difficult past like this, a counselor would be more than happy to help you with your
inner child work and be right there present for you as you begin your journey. You will absolutely
want a safe place with the presence of someone you trust right next to you.
One woman told me that she went back to her inner child thinking it was she, the adult,
who would have trouble loving the child,
but when she went back, she found the child didn’t want to love the adult.
The child was so angry at the adult for not rescuing her from her abuse.
We each have our own journeys with this stuff.
I do want to put out there though, that for me, I don’t believe anyone’s inner child really hates them.
I just can’t believe that. I think our inner children can be terrified, raging angry, and completely lost…
but I believe they’re there wanting our love. I truly believe that with all my heart. I think that our own
stuff gets in the way.
If you don’t feel a response inside when you go looking for your inner child,
I don’t think it means you don’t have one,
I think it means there are better ways for you to do your inner work –
other ways that will work for you.
If you do get in touch with your inner child and she tells you she hates you
and doesn’t want anything to do with you –
I think we can look at that as hurt and pain that needs to be addressed.
And if we feel that they will never forgive us,
I think it’s very possible the child part of us isn’t the one holding back the forgiveness.
I think that’s something to look into as deeply as possible.
Maybe we have things to forgive ourselves that we aren’t aware of yet.
It’s complicated and everyone is different.
My answers may just totally not work for you.
You have to find your own answers, what speaks to your heart and feels right.
Just be careful about closing doors on your little one because your adult self hasn’t found forgiveness
for what happened in the past. Because the whole point is for healing and becoming more whole.
Maybe the inner child part of you is your key to finding what it is you’ve been missing.
Exploring is worth a try.
I have a friend who just cannot go back there. She just isn’t ready. That’s perfectly okay too.
Wherever we are, is where we are. We have to allow ourselves to go at our own pace.
Don’t forget that you don’t have to do everything yourself. You can ask your friends and counselors
and trusted ones for help. I created a bone sigh for this friend of mine. I wanted her to know that I’d hold
her inner child for her until she was ready to come get her herself.
There’s power in that as well.