i’m likin’ this…

talk about a walk this morning!
i think the meaning of life landed on me!

well, okay,
maybe not the ‘meaning’ of life.
maybe not the ‘point’ of life.

maybe the ‘vehicle’ of life.
the space ship of life?
maybe that.

i think the space ship of life landed on me!

it all happened when i stopped thinking.

which took awhile.

i have now learned that thinking while i walk
is one heck of a huge distraction that takes me
away from all that matters.

but it’s a comfortable habit.
so i tend to start off doin’ that.
but sooner or later, i catch myself and stop.
my eyes almost always gaze upward when i switch gears.

today my gaze turned to the tree tops blowin’ in the breeze.

they were so beautiful.

and this voice in my head, filled with so much sincerity,
mixed with a feeling that just flooded all over me –
and the voice and the feelings together said –
‘i have NO idea what i’m supposed to do with my life,
but i know the ONE thing that i can’t seem to do enough
is to breathe in this beauty. i JUST can’t get enough of it.
it’s the only answer that comes back over and over for me.’

and so that’s what i did.
i just watched and soaked in the glory all around me.

and that very word – GLORY – filled me.

and so when i stop thinking and i start soakin’ in stuff,
things just land inside me.
and sure enough, land they did.
and i realized that maybe that was what i’m supposed
to be doing – watching the glory.

believing in the glory.
knowing there was always space for glory.

the glory in nature, yes.
AND the glory in people.

so yeah, let’s face it, people aren’t always glorious.
and that came immediately to mind.

and for the first time ever, i really really felt like
i held the idea that you can’t have the glory without
the tragedy. i really saw that. and that in the tragedies
were the opportunities for glory. and sometimes that
happened, and sometimes tragedy ruled. and because
glory didn’t always win, that also was part of it all.
you HAVE to have the mix or it’s not glory.

i felt like i understood this in a deeper way.

so?
where does that leave me?
or lead me?

i think it leads me to acceptance, allowing,
awareness of where i want to focus,
awareness of where i want to aim.

and with the idea that maybe the vehicle i have to hop into
to travel this journey is one that fully believes in the possibilities
and existence of glory –
and because of that very belief, it actually IS a vehicle of glory itself.
(like to hold the belief deep in your bones even tho there is more
than enough tragedy to shake that belief loose, but it doesn’t –
that in itself is glory. and THAT is a vehicle that will take me places.)

i’m still thinking about it all.
so if this makes no sense,
no worries……these things happen.

i came home,
changed outta my wet clothes and grabbed my inspiration tee shirt
to put on. it’s a musician buddy friend of mine who i see as glory.
he has lived thru tragedy, and his very presence and attitude is glory.

he is a piece of the glory.

this is so cool.
i apologize if this only articulates confusion.
i could sit with it all day and try to tweak this as i think.
but nah, it’s what’s in my head right now.
what the heck.
maybe there’s some glory right there.

smiling……