i’m back!

ohmygosh, guys!
i’m back!
i’m back!

i’m back!

okay, no secret it’s been hard.
for all of us.
no secret we all keep melting down and getting back up again.

i have been kinda concentrating on that –
the getting up from the meltdowns.

but as we’ve gone along,
i think with each meltdown,
a part of me has stayed melted or something.

i really felt like i was losing myself.

it finally just got too nuts.
*i* just got too nuts.
my husband kept giving me these looks as well.
like where the heck did terri go???

so i made the commitment this week, right?
to really get back on track.
the schedule, the exercise, the drinking water.

to really do it.
and gosh – it’s only the THIRD day in –
and i honest to pete feel like i’m back!!

on day three??
i was expecting a few weeks before i felt
any real change.
what an incredibly happy surprise!

this isn’t just a bounce back after a melt down feeling.
it feels like a real compass turn around.
a change in direction.

i have been feeling so darn powerless.
and finally finally i am doing SOMETHING that i can do.
i’m taking charge of my mental state!
ha!
it doesn’t get any more important than that, ya know?

to top it off,
the day here is incredibly beautiful.
my husband smiled at my joy this morning and suggested
a boat ride this evening!

i’m not COMPLETELY back,
as at first, i said no, i had some stuff i needed to do.

he reminded me that god was out on the river,
not in the stuff.

grinnin’ here.
so, yeah, not completely there yet.
how could i miss that?
tho i like to think god’s in the stuff doin’ too…
but i got his point.

and i’m really up for a good dose of god!
ha!
so it’s a boat ride for me for sure!

seriously, guys…
if you keep breakin’ down and havin’ a hard time…
think about what it is you’re letting slide that you need…
that makes you better…
don’t let it slide away.

we need that stuff.
and for me, it’s a lotta discipline to do it.
which is why it slips away…
but my gosh…it is life changing for me.