home

today’s quote of the day is a quote
called ‘home.’
it is honestly one of the first bone sighs
i ever wrote. it might have been the second?
‘i matter’ was the first.
at the time, my marriage was falling apart.
i wanted a divorce and i knew i was exploding everyone’s lives.
i was a stay at home/homeschooling mom of three sons.
it was one heck of a hard time.
one of the things we had in our medicine cabinet was tea tree oil.
i used it on so many things with the kids.
i thought of it as my little miracle medicine.
on this particular night,
everyone was asleep and i lay there in the dark hurting.
hurting in such a deep way i didn’t know what to do with it.
it felt as if the pain was just gonna devour me.
i figured i needed to do something to help myself out.
i needed to kinda save myself.
i was feeling desperate.
so i visualized taking my heart in my hands.
(yeah, i know. could be gross. but it wasn’t.)
i took it and held it and brought it with both hands to the
kitchen table.
the kitchen table is where i worked on everything
from arts and crafts to schooling to taking care of wounds.
i set it there and asked myself ‘what would be tea tree oil
for your heart?’
i was wondering what my miracle medicine would be.
cause i sure felt like i needed one.
and i got an answer.
friends.
lean on your friends.
wrap yourself in their love.
go to them now.
at the time, i was feeling incredibly isolated.
and to top it off, i was always the one people leaned on.
i wasn’t a leaner.
so this was definitely an idea that i hadn’t really thought of.
but i heard it.
and i soaked it in.
and i told myself i would.
i had a couple – and only a couple – of friends who i knew
i could count on. i would go to them. i would just be with them.
i would allow their love in and soothe my heart with that love.
i was so alone.
just the thought of it felt good.
i went back to bed.
i felt so much like i had been guided by an inner wisdom.
that something inside me was there for me and helping me.
i grabbed a pen and paper and wrote this –
‘her ache echoed inside of her
stirring her inner voice.
it was then that she remembered she wasn’t alone~
and once again she turned inward towards home.’
and then i fell asleep.
i love that story.
i guess because i love the trust.
and i love that i got an answer.
and i love the answer.
and i love the listening.
it’s gold in the middle of one heck of a mess.
and when i remember it,
it reminds me that the gold really is there.
we just gotta trust.

10 Comments
Thank you for this. I so needed it today.
thanks, charolette. sometimes i wonder if i should tell these stories, so your comment makes a difference to me.
be gentle with you….squeezing your hand…
Yes, Terri… you should absolutely tell these stories! It’s another way of letting us all know we aren’t alone. Love your work oh so much!
thank you so much, mary! <3
It makes the words resonate more for me, personally. It attaches something “extra….” Thank you…
thanks, mmm! <3
Yes, Terri, keep telling the stories! We all find ourselves in them; thank you thank you
<3
Gold, pure gold….
<3