going where you have to go…

more than once i have gone in directions
that scare me.
but i knew i had no choice.
i had to go.

now, i’m thinking that should happen
fairly frequently if we’re to actually do some real growing.
and that maybe we should welcome those times.

who knew?
i sure didn’t.

something i untangled once tho was that my fear
was muddled. that i thought i was afraid of what
would happen. when really, what i was afraid of
was that i couldn’t handle whatever happened.

i don’t really want to challenge that whole thing
and have the universe hand me stuff that will test me.
i really don’t.

i’m not ready for super big scary stuff.
(who ever is?!)
but i do want to start seeing that i can handle the
lesser not as big but still scary enough stuff.

sort of almost partner with the universe.
what a thought that is.
partner with it in trust.

wouldn’t that be something?!
wouldn’t that just be something.

definitely something i want to put in my head
and mull about as spring arrives.
being out in the yard again,
watching new life arrive,
i’m gonna hold that all as affirmations to trust,
and i’m gonna think about this whole partnering deal.

could be kinda cool.