excuse me, was that joy?!

i couldn’t believe it.
i actually stopped when i realized it.
and just stood there with my eyes wide.

i actually felt joy this morning!

ohmygosh.
joy!

hello, joy!
it has been way way too long.

i stood there and thought ‘you know what terri,
this doesn’t make you a bad person.’

wow.

what a weird thought.
or is it?

is there pressure for us not to feel joy?
is there some sorta underlying ‘if you’re not enraged,
you’re not paying attention’ thing all around us?

i’m thinking that’s really possible.
and i’m thinking i’m not playing in that game.

i feel like i have taken my life back in so many good ways
over this last week and a half…
and i feel like it has changed so much for me.

and wow…
it even made space for joy!

i’m really done being told how i need to feel
and what i need to do.
turns out i’m the best person to do that for myself.
go figure.

smilin’ and loving the joy!