critical thinking

this whole critical thinking thang…
it’s way good stuff.
but with such a boring title.

tho i can’t come up with a better name for it.
so, i’ll go with it for now.

seems the more i work on it,
the more i see the need to work on it.

so a train of thought today went
something like this –

someone said something to me today
that i’m sure they felt was from their heart.

and i get it, everyone’s heart is different.
maybe what is ‘true’ to my heart,
isn’t true to another’s.
i’m not sure about that. i don’t know.
and maybe don’t care right now.

for now, i heard what they said,
and did a double take.
cause it seemed to me that they were
fooling themselves. telling themselves
something that just wasn’t true, and never
stopping to really examine it and look.

i don’t know if they were or not.
i couldn’t ask. and it’s not my deal.
all i could do is notice it.
and stop and think about my own self.

and it occurred to me –
maybe one of our jobs is to really look
and see what it is we are doing.
for real.
not assume something about our actions,
but really look.

and i’m thinking there’s no maybe about it.
that IS one of our jobs.

something important i’ve learned in my relationship
with my man here is that i need to learn to show love
in a way that doesn’t just make sense to me. if i’m to
truly love, then i have to love in a way that he can see
it as well. otherwise, it doesn’t do much good, does it?

i need to be aware enough to know what it is i’m doing.

that’s it.
just be aware enough.
to ask myself is what i’m doing truly loving?

sounds easy enough.
but when i see a lovely person fooling themselves
thinking that they are acting in a loving manner
when i see it totally differently –
i realize that only means i do this as well in my own ways
and i have to look closer and harder at what it is i am telling
myself. and who it is i want to be.

that just never darn stops.
which is okay, isn’t it?