journal

musings and ponderings…

March 28, 2019

humanistic psychology….who knew??

i wandered into SUCH a funky
used book store recently.
i found myself standing in front of the psychology section.
ahhhhh…

grabbed a book by rollo may.
i recognized his name.
have loved some quotes by the guy.
but didn’t know anything about him or what he wrote.

flipped thru the book last nite
and was loving what i was reading.
nodding and feeling fueled all over the place.
turns out he’s a humanistic psychologist.
and that seems to be the stuff that resonates with me.
who knew?

two great points i got outta it so far –
well, one is what he sees as the whole goal of life.
why start small, here? let’s go right to it! –
“…one’s goal is to live each moment with freedom, honesty
and responsibility. One is then in each moment fulfilling
so far as he can his own nature and his evolutionary task.’
(he defines and explains what he means by freedom and such
thru out the book.)

i’m thinking a sloopy way of saying it is see yourself clearly and live authentically.
more or less.
i’m so in.

another thing i was totally captivated with was the idea that
eternity transcends time!
when i read that i think ‘OF COURSE IT DOES!!
why didn’t i ever think of that?!’
and i know! what the heck does that mean?!
here, check this out –

“Eternity is not a given quantity of time: it transcends time. Eternity
is the qualitative significance of time. One doesn’t have to identify the
experience of listening to music with the theological meaning of
eternity to realize that in music – or in love, or in any work which
proceeds from one’s inner integrity
– that the ‘eternal’ is a way of
relating to life, not a succession of tomorrows.”

thud.
this stuff just knocks me over.

my whole day is inspired here!
so thought i’d share……

March 27, 2019

she’s at it again…

i was going to do a few originals
to kinda celebrate springtime rolling in.

i had plans to do that.
and then,
i decided to start a little ahead of time
and begin early.

seems i need some centering.
life.
it’s a lot sometimes.
the hardships.
the struggles.
the loss.

this time of year seems to really kinda bloom
with both hope and sadness.
both.
kinda interesting.

so,
i began.
will be posting these as i go along for at least a week.
inexpensive originals done with the hope of both
centering myself and maybe touching something inside
someone else.

the quotes that i work with tend to be quotes that i need.
i hope that they might feel good to you as well.

they’ll be posted in my etsy shop each day.
if they disappear, they’ve sold.
come on by and share the journey with me.

you can find my etsy shop here.
https://etsy.com/shop/bonesigharts

March 26, 2019

a moment in time…

ah! it’s terri tuesday, yes?
smilin’…
yes!

i put up a podcast today.
i’m reading something to both you and ME!
it’s a writing i found describing a moment
where i experienced the feeling that everything
can truly be held in a moment.
the good and the bad.

it was a huge big deal to me.
and i wrote about it.

and then…yeah…i did what i seem to do –

i forgot about it!

was so delighted to find this.
wanted to share.
was holding a friend in mind as i read it.

if you’re in the mood,
come on over and check it out!

March 25, 2019

god’s breathing…

i have just started reading a book that
has totally caught my attention.
it’s called ‘glimpsing heaven’ by judy bachrach

i’ve only just begun,
but if i get nothing else out of the book –
i got one of the best quotes i’ve ever read.

she’s retelling a near death experience.
the woman who ‘died’ can see the light and asks
her grandmother, who is out there with her (having
died previously) – if the light is god.

the grandmother replies –
‘god is not the light.
the light is what happens when god breathes.’

i read that and right out loud said ‘oh wow!’

i can’t explain it,
but that makes so much sense to me.
which totally makes me laugh.
but it does!

and i think this is one of my all time favorite things
i have ever read.

definitely wanted to share that here in case it floors
you like it did me.

March 22, 2019

what matters…

i’ve been doin’ some thinking today.
about what matters.

then my friend who is also an art cohort called.
it wasn’t unexpected.
we had some business stuff to figure out.
but i wasn’t quite ready to hop into that.
i paused.
‘i’ve got some stuff on my mind today. can i just tell you?’
‘yep’ he answered.

just like that.
and without pause, i launched in.
pushing it all out there in front of us and then leaning back with a pause.
waiting.
i’ve learned to give him a nice stretch of quiet and wait for his answer.
and so i did.
and sure enough, there he was.

he brought up a book he had read.
i smiled.
he’s speaking to me in my kinda language.
which, of course, is why i can blurt it all out to him.

this entire exchange is gold.
and it wasn’t lost on me.
the friendship, the work involved to getting to where we are now,
the respect, the sincere pondering, the sharing, the just plain caring.

i sat looking out my living room window at the trees in the wind
as i listened to what he had to offer. holding the moment.

the people in our lives that will listen and offer –
i am treasuring them today.
so much so.

and nudging all of us to let those people know.
they are what matters.

March 21, 2019

something about this place…

there’s a rumi poem
with a line about
coming to a place
where everything is music.

that line has been really on my mind the last couple days.

for me, it feels like it means something about getting old enough
to realize that life is so darn full of the ‘good’ and the ‘bad.’ and maybe wisdom is understanding that it is ALL music – not just the good –
but the ALL.

is that what he meant?
i went over to the poem to see.
i don’t think so.
but i don’t care.
right now that’s what it means for me.
and i’m guessin’ he’d be okay with that.

turns out i could use that thought today.

i will probably write more about why that is later on.
for now, i wanted to offer this to anyone in a spot
where this might resonate.

if the ‘all’ is feeling so overwhelming right now,
please know you are not alone.
close your eyes and see if you can hear the music.

March 20, 2019

spiritual experiences

he called to check in and see how i was.
‘i’m right in the middle of what feels like
a spiritual experience,’ i tell him.

this is what happens when you marry an artist.

thing is, it was really big for me.
and probably a little too complicated and personal
to type out here in any kinda form that will work.

but here’s part of it in a general, ‘for public use’ form –

it’s the whole honesty/see yourself clearly stuff i’ve been
talkin’ about the last couple days.

i saw a big place where i wasn’t living my belief.
ha!
i mean, seriously?!

yep!
and my eyes got wide and i thought ‘okay, terri,
what the heck is it you really believe?’
and when i answered i then went to –
‘well, then! why the heck aren’t you living it?!’

and i re-calibrated.
oooh…i sound like my GPS thing.
that’s it! it’s like that!
you get to driving in the wrong direction,
and you gotta go re-calibrate!
and this time, instead of getting mad at myself for going
the wrong way, i’m so excited that i figured it out
and turned around to find the right way again!

maybe that’s just the way it works.
and instead of focusing on the wrong turns that i’m always
gonna be taking, maybe i just need to know that when i do
find my way, it’s a really really good thing.

it’s the first day of spring today.
and i feel like i landed in it with gusto today.
re-calibrated gusto.

this honesty/seeing clearly stuff? my gosh, it matters.

March 19, 2019

honesty…

honesty is hard.
i used to think it was easy.
something that i just basically was.

i should know better.
since i think it involves looking at ourselves
over and over again,
and seeing places where we’re not really being
honest with ourselves,
or maybe places we’ve changed and haven’t
yet realized it –
it takes some work.
just as i was thinking about this,
someone posted this image up on instagram.
i grinned.
apparently i have been pondering this all before.

wanted to share it here
in case anyone else is pondering…

March 18, 2019

the cornerstone or something…

the main building block –
the supreme concrete slab –
the cornerstone –

whatever the heck you call the big strong thing
that your foundation rests on…
or that IS your foundation…

more and more i am convinced,
for me,
it’s the idea of ‘seeing clearly.’
seeing OURSELVES clearly.

it’s an idea i read about last year
and have fallen deeper and deeper in love with
as time has gone by.
(here’s a podcast i made when i first read about it!)

i don’t think we can ever really do it 100%.
but, wow, i think we can all do it so much more
than we do!

over and over lately as i sort thru things,
this comes up as totally important.
i wanted to put it out there once again
and remind us all to keep asking ourselves –
am i seeing clearly?

March 15, 2019

back in the swing of dreams!

didn’t think it’d be so hard
to get back in the swing of my dreams.
i mean,
i used to be incredibly good
at working with them.
but ahem…

then i stopped.
and it’s been hard to find my way back.

finally, finally i feel like i’m making some progress.

last nite’s gave me this gem –

be intentional about what you let into your thinking.
pay more attention.
be stronger in your focus and your boundaries.
if you want to travel where you want to, terri,
then you need to really keep an eye on this.

i am quite thrilled about this.
i needed the message.
and i find the conveying of it absolutely brilliant!

here’s to the brilliance of dreams
and the lucky moments when we can hear some of that brilliance!