a customer came through this morning pointing out a particular page from ‘the fabric of her dancing shoes.’
it’s actually a message i got in the shower some years back!
the shower has become known as my ‘psychic phone booth’ – because i get some pretty awesome thoughts pop in from what seems like nowhere in particular.
i read this just now, and thought it would be a nice thing to share and leave for the weekend. replace the “i” for yourself – as i am quite sure this is not specific to just me! (and yes! this was ALL from the shower!) ‘There is stuff going on that I cannot comprehend and don’t need to. The parts I can see scare me because they threaten men in some of my most vulnerable spots.
Drop the fear. I am loved beyond anything I can imagine. It’s a love that’s beyond us, that surrounds us, that is inside all of us.
Being loved is something that exists in spades and there’s no need to fear the lack of that. I do not need to see it manifested around me in particular people.
It’s there.
See it or not.
I need to know that in my bones, trust it, and offer myself with a full and open heart to this stuff that’s going on that I can’t comprehend.
If I don’t trust it, I will find myself in fear.
When I’m in fear, I won’t be able to open the way I’m need to open right now.
So trust is vital. An open heart is vital right now.
Give it and you will not regret it.
Give it and you will give life. Give it and you will get life.”
and i gotta say, after weeks of despair about THE world, it feels really really good to just turn to MY world and hold it with delight.
we have a lotta exciting things happening here. one of which is talk of relocating! and maybe i just need some dreaming time right now, but feels so darn good to just play with the idea of what we might do.
so if you haven’t seen me shout about it, i want to be sure to do that here – i will be taking a week off to go do some wandering and searching for possible relocations.
it comes right at a time when valentines get ordered! ahhh! so i want to try to nudge everyone to make their orders early. after THIS friday, the shop is closed for a week. so if you want valentines, now’s the time!
at this point we’re looking at tennessee/kentucky – but who knows! if you have any pointers, feel free to drop me a note!
here’s to grabbing our lives and making them what we want them to be!
alrighty, turning away from all that ‘stuff’ i’ve been goin’ on about, and turning to new art!
we have two new pieces. this one above is a ‘redo’ of one we had. i get a kick outta how i view this one – i always think of this one as the only bone sigh about me. which makes me laugh out loud. really, terri?! well, let’s just say this is the only one that i DELIBERATELY wrote about myself.
and the one below is one that feels like it’s time for.
they just came in yesterday. and i gotta say, i am really tickled with both of them!
so….while i’m talkin’ shop here – bone sigh arts will be closed from february 1st to the 5th. if you want any valentines – or any of these lovely new prints – you want to know that and order this coming week!
i had planned on finishing up the whole ‘divide’ talk with yesterday’s post, and moving on.
i got a note this morning though, that i think might be the perfect thing to actually finish on.
for yesterday’s quote of the day (which was inauguration day) i sent out the quote ‘don’t let them take away who you are.’
i got a response from someone i have known for years telling me she was surprised and saddened, but would respect my right to my own opinion.
hmmmm….
this seemed to be such a perfect example of the division we are experiencing, that i thought maybe it would help illustrate what i have been trying to convey the last few days. i am hoping so.
she’s an absolutely beautiful person. generous. kind. loving. means no harm. is truly saddened by whatever she got from that. would never want to be part of any division in our country.
so, what DID she get from that? i don’t know as i haven’t heard back yet. so maybe i have it all wrong and it’s not the example of what i am using it for. but i’m gonna play with it anyway, as i think it helps think through some stuff.
does she assume i’m a trump supporter? is that what makes her sad? would it take her sadness away to know i’m not?
so, okay…i’m not.
is that what the sadness was about? if so, why? are trump supporters somehow less than? do ‘they’ believe in hate? what’s the sad about? good questions to ask ourselves.
does saying ‘i respect your right to your opinion’ make it ‘all okay?’ does saying the respect part make it so we don’t have to actually look at the division that we are part of? if you respect my opinion, do you need to tell me it makes you sad? real questions for us all to think on.
so, now, what if you’re a trump supporter reading this and you feel sad reading i’m not a trump fan – if so why? are you assuming i’m a biden supporter? would it take your sadness away to know i’m not?
so, okay…i’m not.
is that what the sadness was about? if so, why? are biden supporters somehow less than?
do you feel the need to tell me you are saddened by my opinion? if so, why? do you know what my thoughts are? if not, why?
what exactly DOES ‘respecting another’s opinion’ mean to us anyway? is it their RIGHT to have one, is that what we’re respecting? not their opinion? i can see how that would make a difference in it all. and that might be really important to look at.
‘don’t let them take away who you are.’ that was the quote. and i mean it with my entire heart.
i feel like every single one of us needs that reminder right now more than ever. BECAUSE OF THE DIVIDE not because of who you vote for.
you don’t have to be for a ‘team.’ or you can be. whoever you like or dislike – if you trust in politicians or you don’t – i hope we are all rooting for our country to succeed in all kindsa different ways. i don’t know anyone who is NOT hoping for that.
but if we participate in the divide, no matter how subtle it is inside us, we ARE letting them take away who we are. we are being less than we can be.
if this thought that i am typing out right now – this thought of mine somehow makes you sad with who i am, that’s fair. that’s being sad about some thought TERRI has, about some direction terri is aiming. it’s not being sad about who i’m glad to see as president. see ME, not my party. i’m rooting for us. i really really am.
and maybe if we all REALLY saw each other, we wouldn’t be sad. because if we all really saw, we would see how alike we are.
i have been nudging as hard as i can to get all of us to look at how we are participating in the division without even knowing it. i know i am.
and yeah, i’m done. it may show up again in my own journey with my own wrestling with it inside myself – cause it certainly seems to be a big part of living right now. but i’m done nudging.
it’s up to us. always has been. just now i see it so darn clearly.
it’s here. inauguration day. some are thrilled. some are beyond broken hearted.
it’s not just a win to one side. it’s the saving of america.
it’s not just a loss to one side. america was stolen.
for all the healing and unity the winning side speaks of, it certainly is blindingly absent when it comes to their dealing with the losing side.
so the divide not only continues, it widens. it deepens.
on this day, so many will look to the new administration with the hopes of them saving us.
i deeply believe that NO MATTER WHAT your politics are – thrilled or crushed here, looking outside for saving right now is the worst mistake we can make.
i believe it’s ENTIRELY up to us right now. whether you won or lost – it’s us right now.
i read a post by glenn greenwald yesterday. a couple of sentences just stopped me in my tracks. i wanted to put them here for all of us –
That a new War on Terror is coming is not a question of speculation and it is not in doubt. Those who now wield power are saying it explicitly. The only thing that is in doubt is how much opposition they will encounter from those who value basic civic rights more than the fears of one another being deliberately cultivated within us.
i had no idea how much of a civil rights gal i was until i saw them getting taken away – and freely handed away.
i see fear as the tool that has been used to take them and belief in safety as the motivation to hand them to the takers.
we have become so afraid of each other.
after i read glenn’s sentences, i thought about them a lot. and i wondered – is it easier to accept that those who believe differently are so scary that we need to be protected from them – is that easier to accept than the idea that the fear of each other is ‘being deliberately cultivated within us?’
i honestly wonder.
is it easier to hate than to do the work not to hate?
if you’re curious, spend a day hearing what you listen to. hearing what you accept. listen for those words that feed something inside of you.
when i’m angry, i want to hear the negative stuff. i just do. it feeds something inside me.
when i’m scared, i want to hear that i’ll be protected. i don’t want to take the fear apart and examine it. i just want to be taken care of!
when i want to be in the know and feel i understand something, i am quick to accept what someone is telling me if it answers my questions easily.
every single one of us is lazy. that’s just how we are. every single one of us has parts of ourselves that shouldn’t be fed, but want to be fed.
it’s not YOU – it’s US. all of us are like that.
and let’s face it, it’d be WAY easier to have some ‘administration’ somewhere come in and just fix everything for us.
but life doesn’t work that way for anything. ya know?
it’s ours. it’s ours to see our part in the division, in the direction, who we are listening to, who we are fearful of, the consequences of what we accept – that’s all ours.
that’s all work.
and that’s all vital right now.
i have added to the divide. and i have fed things inside of me that should not be fed.
i am thinking of today as MY inauguration day. (inauguration defined – the beginning or introduction of a system, policy, or period.) and i’m gonna work hard, think more, act intentionally, hold awareness, listen deeper, question more, and be a leader to myself as best i possibly can be. so help me god.
may we all take a pledge within ourselves to create the world that we want to live in.
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” -MLK
as i sat and read the news this morning, the tears ran down my face. i go from absolute terror to such sorrow as the stories go on and on.
and then i look out my window at the early morning sun lighting up the trees way in the back. lit up with such glory that it takes your breath away. and i remember the vastness.
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” MLK
i read of yet another person who was associated with trump being ousted from yet another college. of a senator not being able to hold his fund raiser as his venue pulled out and said no.
and the fear rose again in that now familiar wave that keeps washing over me.
we are accepting these things. and in that acceptance, we are growing the ugliest of monsters. it seems to pick up speed – with each act, more pop up – yet it seems invisible to so many. i fear at this rate, if we don’t see very soon, we won’t be able to stop it.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” MLK.
i think of MLK today, and long for a leader. long for someone to put on the brakes, address the hate, offer ideas for healing, and stop the lies. someone who could address the divide and really understand what MLK said – “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”
i see no one out there. and the sorrow and fear rise again.
and then i think of jordan peterson and his words of self responsibility. he would tell me that i need to be my own leader. that i need to get my ‘own house’ in order. and i think ol’ MLK might just agree – “The time is always right to do what is right.”
i don’t know how to lead anyone, but i can lead myself. and no, i’m not too sure it’s ‘enough.’ but it’s all i got.
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” MLK
thinking of you today, martin, and wishing you were here.
