journal

musings and ponderings…

September 4, 2020

more…

had a great conversation with my sons.
about – discipline!
what a cool thing to talk to your ‘kids’ about!

they lead me in discipline all the time.
which is so totally awesome, ya know?

to see these men constantly striving to
make their lives what they want them to be –
and taking the responsibility upon themselves to do just that.
well –
always, always they inspire me.

something one of them said caught my attention.
they were saying that they thought ‘seeing the whole picture’
might be a big part of it all.

how that if you’re working towards big life kinda goals,
then you’re seeing the whole picture and you understand
how the discipline fits in, and it’s not just an inconvenient
thing you gotta do.
not at all.
it becomes an integral part of the process.
it becomes a real positive.

for some reason, that really landed when i heard it.
‘planning’ fit right in there nicely
as did ‘creating your life’ rather than ‘letting life happen to you.’

obviously life is gonna happen to you no matter what.
and obviously you can plan for unhealthy reasons.

not talking about that.
only thinking about all this on the healthy levels of it all.
and on the controls that you actually do have some say in.

people made a lot more sense to me with this in mind as well.
the ones i see who do this,
the ones i see who don’t.
i wonder if that thought makes a difference to anyone else?
thought i’d pop it here in case it does.

seeing the whole picture –
where you want to go, who you want to be, what you want
around you – not just today, but as you go along –
are we keeping that in mind?

i feel like between yesterday and today,
i am reinspired with all of this.
which is such a good feeling to take into a holiday weekend!

September 3, 2020

a (much needed) refresher

my focus had changed.
and not in a good way either.

i could tell because i was feeling out of control.

well, then, terri,
why don’t you turn to what you can control?!
YOU.

me.

oh yeah, me.

‘clean your room, terri.’
‘get your house in order.’
that kinda thing.

which all brought jordan peterson to mind.
this is the stuff of his offerings.
if you haven’t read his ’12 rules for life, an antidote to chaos,’
i highly highly highly recommend it.
i believe it’s my all time favorite book.

he has a definite tone.
it’s not the gentle, poetic writing of mark nepo, for sure!
so don’t go in expecting that!
i know it helped that i had heard many of his lectures first.
i could actually hear his voice through the whole book.
he makes me laugh – he’s about intense as they get!
and i love that.

so i grabbed his book.
i was kinda looking for one particular thing –
and i never found it.

instead, i found a ton of other gems i needed.

the very ending of the book is one of the best endings
i have ever read.

he tells the story of acquiring a ‘pen of light’ –
it’s a pen with a light on it so you can write in the dark.
he sees a friend with one and ends up asking for it!
he loves the symbolism of a pen of light.
and asks really huge cosmic questions with it and gets
immediate responses that he writes back!

i can just feel the zippy energy running through that part of
the book. i love the questions and the answers.

he reminded me to not only grab my self responsibility back,
but to also look up and keep my eyes focused on goals that
truly matter to my soul.

feelin’ a little outta control?
well, i would remind you of what jordan just did for me –
all you can control is yourself. and that in itself is plenty of a job
to keep you busy, and while you’re at it, keep your eyes on the things
that add meaning to your life and who you want to be.

do that and life changes.

apparently i’m gonna have to do this over and over and over again.
but that’s okay.
cause each time feels pretty darn exciting.

once again, thank you, dr. peterson!

September 2, 2020

full moons

full moon today!
thought it was the perfect time
to pop up this piece and spread it around.

it’s over on the etsy shop right now.
come on by and take a peek!

it feels like a full moon day should today.
it’s oddly gentle and quiet outside.
for some reason, that feels perfect.
i kinda feel the same way.
and i love that my feelings match the day
and that it all brings us to the full moon tonight.

there is beauty all around us.
i’m celebrating that today!

September 1, 2020

sharing good stuff…


it’s no secret i adore this guy!
but that’s not why i’m sharing him today.

i’m sharing him today because i was so moved from listening
to his podcast, ‘Rain and Limitation.’

he’s been doing his share for sure in trying to help the world
get thru the covid madness.

he does a podcast every single day for the seniors who are
in ‘lock down’ because of covid. this is his 173rd day of doing this.
i find that so impressive.
(if you know a senior who is isolating, feel free to point them his way.)

this one really resonated with me. i needed to hear it.
so i thought i’d share it everywhere i could for whoever else
was out there who also needed to hear it.

and as if that’s not enough, he writes the seniors letters as well!
i believe he does that once a week. he then posts the letters in his
blog. you can find those here.

appreciating this guy and all he offers the world.
it is definitely a brighter place because of his presence!
thank you, josh!

August 31, 2020

a combination of things…

i started out with a thought…
but then added another to it…
and now feel like maybe it should really
just be a stew pot of stuff….

it was something about not needing things from people –

the thought that if you can find what you need inside yourself,
then you can let people be who they are.
you don’t have any need to push them to be anything they aren’t.

i love that idea.
and have seen it work.

of course, you still NEED people, but it’s not in such a ‘needy’ way.
if that makes any sense?!?!?!?

but then, as i was looking thru my scribblings
to find the stuff i wrote about that,
i found this –

‘it was more than just showing up,
it was setting everything down,
opening to possibility
and being present.’


the ‘setting everything down’ is shades of not needing stuff
from other people – kinda –
but the ‘opening to possibility and being present’ –
THAT is another really cool angle to it all,
isn’t it?!

i find that life is the most beautiful
when i’m the least needy.

and i’m the least needy when i’m the most open.

grinnin’……

so maybe my stew pot of stuff is just really
a few basic ingredients –
with a lotta extra goodies tossed in for fun!

who the heck can tell.

i’m just noticing some of these same ingredients keep
popping up for me, and i want more and more and more
of them in my stew!

August 28, 2020

a reminder…

i was thinking of someone today.
and remembering the pain
that they are still walking around with.

that’s the thing with some of this life stuff, ya know?

that pain we had years and years ago
can still be right there with us.

but it’s been so long.
we don’t talk about it any more.
no one talks about it any more.

but it hasn’t gone away.

and i was thinking of this person
and feeling such compassion for them.

thing is,
i don’t always.
and even more than just not thinking of it,
i can get caught up in something now,
and get annoyed with them,
and forget that so much of where they are coming from
comes from that place –
that place that no one talks about anymore.

i started thinking of all the people i know,
and of all the different pains these people carry.
and how so much of it just isn’t talked about any more.

and i thought of the time we’re in right now.
talk about the irritation and anger overflowing…
and how easily we forget to stop and remember each other.

just thought i’d drop a reminder today
to take into our weekends –
let’s slow down and remember each other,
and all that we carry around silently.
let’s breathe in some patience and compassion for each other
this weekend….. let’s remember the journey.

August 27, 2020

it matters…

that’s no little thought.
and it matters so much.

we slip.
we fall.
we get up again.

and sometimes,
we really are who it is we want to be.

and with practice,
more and more,
we are that person over and over again.

keep practicing.

it matters.

August 25, 2020

my thought for the day…

i wrote this ages ago.
found it again this morning.

i just couldn’t believe how timely it was.

i’ve been celebrating making some real progress
on my inner journey.

and when i read this,
i could just feel my whole being react
with a giant ‘YES!’

honoring.
honoring the ALL.

i needed all of it to get to this point.
and today i want to hold that and honor that.
so much so.

we’re so lucky to be journeying along,
aren’t we?!

August 24, 2020

a wonderful moment

you know how you try really hard,
you fall,
you get back up,
you fall again,
you get back up again?

ya know?

and you know how it feels like never ending
and that improvement and progress just aren’t EVER gonna happen?!

but THEN!
a moment sneaks in,
takes you by surprise,
and something you have been working on for YEARS
just shows up without any notice?!

and it is so beautiful,
and so right,
and just what you’ve been working for,
and there it is!

it’s smilin’ at ya,
and making you feel like a million bucks!

well, yeah!
those moments……..they’re so rare for me.
but when they come in,
they leave me flying around for days!

and yep!
i had one of those moments.
and yep!
i have been flying around ever since.

and i’m landing in here for a moment to remind you –
progress DOES happen –
even when we’re thinking it’s not.

and we are getting further and further along our path.
we just gotta keep at it.

this morning i was reminded again that i want to focus more.
not because i HAVE to be something or someone,
not because i am feeling OBLIGATED,
but because i really really truly want the results of the focusing.

and this moment i just had?
it is totally backing up that feeling!

tired? sure, take a break.
give yourself a rest.
and when you’re ready, hop back in for the ride.
because, my gosh, WE GOT THIS!