a wonderfully beautiful normal moment

so, okay, it was no secret –
i celebrated my birthday yesterday.
and i had a ball!

as birthdays go – it was a fairly normal day
with a lot of fairly normal moments.

a ton of love was mixed in.
and some of the moments were tremendously special.

but the moment that stands out the most for me,
was a completely normal one.

i was out of coffee.
i had been out of it since the day before.
the day before i had stolen some from my guy’s stash,
but i like the flavored stuff.
he doesn’t.
and here it was – my special day –
and i didn’t want his coffee –
i wanted my own.

i decided to go up the road and combine dropping
off some orders at UPS and going to the grocery store
up near there to find my birthday coffee.

a regular ol’ errand.

dropping off the boxes turned into a treat when a really kind man
in the parking lot went outta his way to get the door for me.
he wasn’t even near the store, wasn’t goin’ that way, but offered

i told him it was my birthday and he helped make me feel
like a birthday queen. we shared a laugh and he wished me
a happy birthday. i headed to the grocery store smiling.

the grocery store was fun as i wandered knowing i could
get anything i wanted for my special day.  i was delighted
to just be browsing for me.

and it was driving home from running those errands that
i had the moment.

driving down the highway, up a hill.
there was a beautiful view of the sky.
leaning back in my car, i noticed something –
i was completely comfortable with myself.
just completely comfortable.
with me.

there was no need to do anything but just be there.

and i realized, in that moment,
that i had finally learned that what i needed was inside me,
that it was up to me to make me happy,
and while others could add great delights to that happiness,
it was my relationship with me that really mattered.
and to mix that with genuine gratitude is an incredibly powerful combination.

and i was feeling that mix.

yeah, it’s taken me 56 years to get here.
and i’m okay with that.
i guess i needed a little time.

now…..i want to spend some time really practicing this.
cause it sure feels good.

thinking it’s gonna be a good year ahead…..