a mistake…

it’s a mistake we all make.
in a way, it’s a nice thing.
i think there’s good behind it.
but it is something to pay attention to.
at least, for me, it is.

it’s expecting emotionally unhealthy people to make healthy choices.

never say never, of course.

but maybe don’t be so surprised when they make an unhealthy choice that directly affects you.

i think i get hurt when i believe that the person will act differently than they do. i ‘expect’ them to act in a healthy manner towards me.

well……maybe sometimes. and maybe not.

and that’s okay.
you just gotta remember that’s how it works.
it’s up to me to choose how much of that to let in to my life.
sometimes i choose it, sometimes i don’t.

when i choose it,
i need to own that and understand what that means.

in talking to a friend who was hurt by this very thing,
i was reminded once again –
don’t look for stuff that people can’t give.

and what a balance it is.
because one of the greatest gifts we can offer is belief in someone.
so that’s a balance of belief in more and acceptance of what is all
the while not ‘needing’ anything.

no wonder we get hurt.
that’s a big juggle right there.

but one i want to keep in mind.
and so i’m typing this up for myself this morning.
who knows, maybe you need the reminder as well…