working on it…

yesterday felt like a dramatic example
of yin and yang or opposite day or something like that…

the early part was incredibly positive.

i spent a good part of my time spreading joy and love
and realizing how much that matters to me.
so much so, that i went out to the garden to ponder
how i could actually do that with some sort of focus to it.

the later part of the afternoon held some deep ugliness.
this time i went out to the garden to get the anger and ‘upset’ out of me. thru tears of anger and sadness, i dug with great gusto.

how is that for two really striking parts of the day?

thankfully, i realized that the angry thoughts weren’t doin’
anyone any good, so i shifted a bit into pondering WHAT
i wanted to do with it all.

i still don’t know.
and i’m still not totally centered.
but i’m okay with all of that.

the thing i wasn’t okay with was letting the ugliness take away
from the goodness. THAT i wasn’t gonna let happen.

i went outside early this morning with a great intention –
FIND the joy. OPEN to the joy. touch it, feel it, know it.
then offer what you can.

and i tell you what – that really did some good stuff for me.

later, i wandered back into the ugliness and how it was affecting
someone i love deeply. and i could be there, but not be consumed.

on my chalk board here by my desk right now i have this –
‘feel the love that you are. over. and over again. then act.’

and last nite i found the image that begins this blog.

remember who you are and move from that place.

there are moments that’s really hard.
but i am noticing the more i practice,
the more intentional i become.