weird and wonderful

so i had this moment yesterday.
it really sent some zing through me.

and to my great joy,
noah was there as well,
so he could confirm it to me later and to
my family as i tried to tell them the story.

i had posted yesterday’s blog –
the thing about halloween and the thin veil
between the worlds.
i had thought about people i had lost
and wondered where they were and how it all worked.

and then i just hunkered in for a busy day.
wasn’t going to go anywhere.
was a quiet day at home.

but a couple of unexpected things happened,
and i found myself pulling into the lowes parking lot,
with noah (my son) in my car.
as i got out, i noticed the woman sitting in the truck
next to my car. i looked over, as i thought i might
be in her way, and i wanted to smile and let her know i was
gonna get out of her way if she was about to get out of her
truck as well.

and when i looked over,
i saw –
wow –
the woman was the spitting image –
and i mean TRULY spitting image –
of someone i had lost.
an elderly neighbor whom i had shared a bond with.

and the look she gave me…
well, it was really unusual.
it was quiet and knowing and…
i just don’t know.

and no, she wasn’t goin’ anywhere.
she was just sitting there.

so, anyway, i can go on and on about the moment,
but you get the idea.
it was startling.
and wonderful.
and full of zing.

and you know what?
i cannot stop thinking about it.
and i wonder.
cause i’ve heard all the zillions of stories,
have some of my own stories,
and just really wonder, ya know?

and now…
with this whole ‘vastness’ thing i’m trying to hold –
how the heck does any of it fit together?!

how the heck does any of it make sense?!

yeah, i guess it doesn’t.
and yeah, i guess that’s the beauty and the awe of it all.

today as i look out at the most gorgeous fall, first of november day,
and think of all of this, i just feel humbled, awed, and filled with
gratitude. which seems perfect as we head into ‘gratitude month.’

i don’t understand any of it.
but i sure wanna live all of it.