two years

two years ago,
i got married.
and my goodness,
it’s been quite a two years –

when we met,
i so wanted to know what love really was.
that was a lotta lotta years ago.
and it’s just now i think i’m gonna start to really learn.

my sons came over to dinner last nite to celebrate with us.
and they nudged us to give toasts and ‘wisdom’ –
i got stuck on both.
one of them laughed and said ‘mom, i’ve never seen you
stuck like this before!’

truth is, i just do not know how to sum up what i’m learning.
i tried.
and i heard it.
and it sounded like incoherent garble.

maybe the whole point is the bottom line(s) –
which might be something like this –
love is not about me at all while it is completely about me.
it is about fully being present while at the same time, fully letting go.
it is loving someone who feels like they aren’t the same person,
while knowing that whoever they are is the one who is loved.
it is so completely yin/yang that i am floored.
it is such a huge task that it knocks me down over and over.
and it is such an easy task that i get up over and over.

yeah, incoherent garble.
if i get any clearer, i will be sure to shout.
for now –
i am bowing down and honoring this love that is between
my partner and i. and thanking these two years for allowing
me to be here in the muddle.