the sky…perspective…and god…

finally finally finally i got out for a walk
this morning. finally finally finally i got
a moment with the sky. and i gotta say –
i have missed it so much.

it’s been days and days of festivities
and fun. and yeah, some not so fun but definitely
full. and everything in between.

but no sky.

i drove a few miles to the post office this morning.
and again, i drank in the sky.
on the way home i was wondering what it was
that i had missed so much.

i mean, i know i love the sky.
and i know i can get lost in it.
but really, terri, what ARE you soaking up today?

and i don’t really know.
i’m thinking tho it’s the perspective.
when i stand under the sky i know there’s a whole
vastness that’s so beyond me and life falls into
perspective.

when i stand in my living room or someone else’s
living room, i’m not sure i remember that.
definitely not as much if i do.

and i think it’s that perspective.
that feeling of vastness.
that feeling of mystery and beyondness
and the feeling that i don’t understand
and i don’t have to.

that gives me such a groundedness that i need.

otherwise i think i get too caught up in the world.
i get tricked and think i can understand things
and control things or something like that.

yeah.
maybe that’s it.
i go from trying to control my world in my
living room to surrendering my world when
i’m under the sky.

i think that’s it.

and apparently i really really need the
surrendering part.

and i think there’s some remembering that
while the sky is beyond me, it’s also inside
me. and i think i forget that as well when
i’m not under it.

gosh.
kinda cool.
i just paused and looked out my window.
it’s soft gray outside.
the sky is soft tones of gray.
whispering to me still.
thru my window.

and it feels so good.

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