i was responding to a beautiful email i received
the other day. in it she thoughtfully mentioned my
uncle’s passing along with my dad’s. i wanted to
reply to that part and share something with her to
connect and let her know it mattered to me.
and so i told her of this odd and wonderful and
random or not so random moment i had this season.
i wasn’t outside much at all. it was pretty much
a mad inside scramble with runs to the car and back.
but there was a moment that i went out to the
recycling bin. i purposely keep it kinda outta the
way so you have to go out to it. so you actually
have to put your shoes on and go outside.
and as i was walking back from it, i looked up
and saw three turkey buzzards in the sky.
flying together right over my head.
in an instant i thought of my dad, my uncle and
my grandfather. turns out that my uncle and my
grampa died the same day 20 years apart. and then
my dad died just days later in between those years.
seems like one of those funky quirky things that
are cool to mention. and it was something that
kept me thinking of the three of them together.
there above my head i immediately thought of them
i laughed out loud as i watched because it was
turkey buzzards and i couldn’t pick a better bird
to represent all three of them!
and then i remembered my dad used to call me
baby buzzard. (no kidding) (i know. i know.)
so then i laughed even more.
and then i stood quietly and whispered
‘fly free, you guys, fly free.’
and in that moment i felt such healing.
i gotta say that i’m not really the bird woman.
or the bird symbolism woman.
i know a lotta people see birds when they’re
loved ones die and that kinda thing.
it’s really not my typical way of looking at
things. but there it was and it just popped
right on in.
and i think in all the years since my dad died,
that was the most healing moment i experienced.
i think maybe because for a moment i totally
let go of everything and truly wished them
freedom of flight.
i think this was the best moment of my entire
and when did it happen?
when i was walking back from the recycling bin.
so as i wrote this out in my email,
i realized i wanted to mix that thought into
my new year’s resolutions and plans –
the idea that the most mundane moments can
carry the strongest magic.
i like that idea.
that opening into possibilities.
and so, when i try to untangle all my new
year’s ideas…..that one’s gonna be mixed
right into the thick of it all.
ahhhh so much to sit with.
so much to be grateful for.
including walking to and from the recycling bin.
- a mistake...
- i can't quite figure it out...
- notes from my journal...
- wasting time...
- my brilliant friends
- the knowing and the doubts
- moments of bliss, moments of challenge.
- coming together...
- when you think it's one thing, but maybe it's another...