i’d like to say it’s my awareness
that brings about these incredible moments.
but truth seems to be –
i stumble into all the really great stuff,
never really knowing what i’m doing.
i stumbled into something yesterday,
and was so darn tickled i did.
i decorated inside for valentine’s day on saturday.
hearts hanging everywhere and lots of little
red lights and heart lights hanging around.
so on sunday, i figured i really better get my
christmas lights down outside! (yeah, i know. i know.)
i spent the morning cleaning house, doing laundry,
fillin’ orders. that kinda thing. then in the
afternoon, i headed out to get the lights down.
by the time i was done, i was tired and cold.
i loaded all the lights up in the attic and then
came back down and looked around. everything looked
so clean and pretty.
i wanna just be in this, i thought.
so i lit the pellet stove, turned on all the valentine lights,
lit the candles, made some tea and sat down with myself.
i felt like the most royal guest in my own home.
i had been alone all day.
but i was busy doin’ stuff.
while i enjoyed the quiet time to myself,
it still wasn’t just sitting with myself and listening
to my thoughts. it was entirely different.
this was a break just with me doing nothing.
now, i have taken many breaks with myself before.
but i don’t think i’ve ever timed it where i felt so much
like i had just prepared for company to visit.
i had cleaned, decorated, and lit all the special lights.
just like i would for company.
i realized how much i fuss for other people.
how little i fuss for me.
i always thought i was doing good just taking a break
to be by myself. i don’t think i ever thought about fussing
for myself before.
but i gotta tell ya, it felt so good.
and i thought about why i fuss for others.
i want them to know they matter to me. i want them to feel
welcome and at home and loved.
now i want to actually fuss for myself on a regular basis!
because honestly, what a precious guest to prepare for.
wanted to put this out there for anyone else who hadn’t thought
about the fussing part. and obviously, that only works if the
fussing is a good thing, not a chore. for me, i’m pretty sure
it’d be a good thing. i’d kinda get a double bonus outta the deal –
the place would get cleaned, and i’d feel honored all at once.
for me, it puts a whole new spin on cleaning!
still smiling from it all.