that darn quote…

i posted a quote here some months back.
maybe around september or october.
this is one i actually printed out and
put at BOTH my desk and at the kitchen sink.

……….
“The problem’s not that the truth is harsh but that
liberation from ignorance is as painful as being born.

Run after truth until you’re breathless.

Accept the pain involved in re-creating yourself afresh.

These ideas will take a life to comprehend,
a hard one interspersed with drunken moments.”
-Naguib Mahfouz {Palace of Desire}

…….

shoot, he’s not kiddin’.

it is SUCH a good quote for me.

i think one of the many things that happened to me
as i went thru my divorce all those years ago,
was that the understanding that one needed to constantly
keep an eye on their life and tweak how they’re living
got burned into my soul.

like really burned in there.
like 4th degree burned.

a friend mentioned today that i’ve been like that ever since
she’s known me. i pointed out she has only known me post-divorce.

and then i realized –
i have always been open to the tweaking and trying to improve –
pre-divorce as well as post.
but it’s the SEEING part that i haven’t excelled at ever.
and i don’t even think i THOUGHT about much pre-divorce.

but ever since –
my gosh –
i know how much it matters.
i definitely think about it.

and yet, i still am not good at it.
which is probably why i have this quote in
TWO prominent places in my house.

it’s in the seeing, terri.
it’s in the seeing.

which somehow i’ve sensed for a long long time.

i get notified a day ahead of what the next day’s
quote of the day will be. tomorrow’s quote came
thru this morning.

ready?

‘for clarity of sight – to see herself and her intentions –
for this she prayed.’

wrote that about 18 years ago.

still praying…