struggling? here’s a thought…

it’s been interesting around here lately.
lotsa stories.
all in a row.

but seein’ as how they’re about more than just me,
i gotta just leave it all vague.

here’s the thing though –
there are moments when i get to see how lucky i am.
you know…where it’s so darn obvious that you can’t
be distracted by all the things life distracts you with.
and you just see it.

i had one of those moments this morning.

and the beauty of my life now just took my breath away.

and i see that i wouldn’t be here,
in this incredible spot,
if it wasn’t for the dark stuff
that i went thru all those years ago.
divorce, yes.
and all kindsa hard stuff that came with it.

it’s not just that i’m past that now and have a different life –
it’s more than that.
it’s that the struggle itself,
the darkness,
the finding my way,
the emotions that fueled the deep drive to find healthy,
the loss and the grief, and the recovery process –
all the muscles that have been formed along the way,
all the work that has been done –

there’s a pay off.

there. is. a. pay. off.

wow.

and i’m living the pay off.
and i know better than to just sit back and say i’m done.
i know to continue onward with awareness and willingness
to work and to grow.

this morning i want to take a moment and honor the pay off.
shout out loud my gratitude.
cry as i type with awe of how lucky i am.

and remind anyone who is in their darkness right now –
keep going.
struggle. work. cry. fumble. get up. do it again.
there is a pay off.
there is such beauty in making it through and rebuilding.
and finding yourself.
and being surrounded by those who not only allow who you are,
but who encourage you and celebrate you.

what a feeling to hold this birthday month.