strings, parts and levels…

someone ordered ‘a vow to my heart’ today.
she told me that she wanted to be reminded to listen.

the quote reads –

“i will work on the act of listening to you
and my listening abilities will grow.
i will honor those things
you relay to me and act upon them.
when i act upon them,
i will know that i am living my truth
and owe no explanations to anyone.
i will believe in your ability to accept
all emotions and will not close down to
protect you.
i will direct my energies
and my power to a place that will
strengthen you, not deplete you.
i will follow you in the way i wish
the world would follow you.
the child of the universe
and the heart shall meld
and we shall dance as one.”

i wrote this when i was just starting out with bone sighs.
the early days.

all these years later, i mostly focus on the thought
that i need to listen more,
pay attention more.
i tend to think of where i need to go
rather than how far i’ve traveled.

but today,
after reading the quote,
i realized how much better my listening has become.
and how much more comfortable i have gotten in
making space for my heart to talk to me.

i feel like a really big shift is happening in me.
and i don’t know how these things work.
and i forget or don’t realize that there’s so many
strings to it all, along with so many parts of me
that dance inside of me. then throw in all the
different levels of myself – and wow –
how the heck does it all work?

not sure i’ll ever know.
not sure i need to know.

but today, i saw how something i needed to understand surfaced.
the only thing i did to intentionally come upon this is to stop and
do some writing when i felt the urge.

that’s it.

but that –
the hearing, the feeling, the stopping and honoring –
that makes all the difference doesn’t it?

the more i trust that,
the more all the strings, parts and levels can speak to me
and let me know what i need to know.

all these years later i see how far i’ve come,
how far there is to go,
and how amazing a journey it really is when you listen.

seeing this today makes me really want to remember –
next time i feel really lost, to just remember to trust and ask my heart –
‘talk to me. show me. help me.’
and then make space for that to come.
and to know it will.


a vow to my heart