sorta like a recipe

i wanted to bring up a reminder
before the weekend hits us.
i know this weekend can be hard
for a lotta people.
and i can always use this reminder myself.

but the reminder has turned into more of a recipe.
which i’m really diggin’ here.

it starts with intention.

i was going to say it starts with focus.
but i’m thinking you really really gotta have that intention
figured out so that you can keep the focus.

so let’s use this weekend as an example.

mother’s day is a hard one for you.
you hate the holiday. just want the weekend to pass.

so maybe we can stop and remember that just having a
weekend is honestly a gift.
the fact that we’re here and able to be in it is a gift that
is really helpful to keep in mind.

so, okay, we’re here. and yeah, yeah, it’s prolly a gift.
but it doesn’t feel so great.
that’s okay.
doesn’t have to.

and that makes the gift all the more real.
it’s a gift that includes hard stuff as well.
but it’s a gift.

so what can our intention be?
maybe something like ‘i’d like it to be peaceful and not filled
with bad memories or inner turmoil.’

fair enough.

so whatever the intention is, now we’ve got something to hang on to.
now we add the focus.
where do we focus our eyes so that we’re not growing the inner turmoil?
finding something we enjoy is perfect! – okay, maybe i’ll garden,
or find a movie i really want to see, or get some really delicious food
i’ve been wanting lately. i’ll pull out my paints, or clean off the hammock,
or take a day trip. and i’ll focus on the good feelings these things bring up.

so you make some good plans. you feel good about yourself. you got this.
you get halfway thru it and all is goin’ good. you start to see that yeah, yeah,
this really is a gift.

then….if we’re gonna use the recipe idea, maybe we can say something
boils over or thickens too much or gets gunky somehow.

suddenly,  you have slop.

something catches you off guard…you see the thing that’s gonna press your buttons,
and you collapse, and feel totally awful.

that’s such a real possibility,  yes?

here’s where i just figured something out this morning!
cause i’ve done this kinda thing, gotten to the gunk/slop part, collapsed,
and told myself to just get back and refocus.
and you know what?
i can’t.

i think i’ve been missing a part –
here’s the part where opportunity has been presented.
another gift!

here’s your chance for self compassion.
it’s time to acknowledge what hurts.
it won’t be ignored.
it wants some attention.

go ahead, give it attention and compassion.
sit and give yourself love and compassion.

talk about a gift.

and THEN say okay, i’m headin’ back to the focus and the intent.

repeat this process as much as necessary.

stir with self love and awareness,
and i’m thinking you may end up cooking yourself something beautiful.

and the part i really love?
it’s up to us!
this is ours!
and we can do this!

ahhh….but wait….if you can’t right now? if you just don’t have it in you…
that’s okay. just remember this reminder. and tuck it away.
cause the day will come when you can. if you can’t right now, just wrap
yourself with as much care as you can muster
and be however you need to be.

you aren’t alone.
sending you love this weekend…….