was warmer this morning.
perfect morning to slip a bike ride in.
we didn’t factor in the rain.
so at the last minute,
we realized it was raining,
and decided to run out and
get a cuppa coffee instead.
as i ran out the door,
i felt like i was playing hooky.
it was so fun to slip in his car,
in the dark and say ‘where to?!’
as we sat over our warm drinks,
he told me he had started reading
‘the empathy exams.’
it’s the actual title of a book by leslie jamison,
but also the first story in that book,
which is what he meant.
i had read it and was floored by the power of it.
tho, i never finished the whole book.
i think it was just a little too harsh for me.
but that first story…wow….that first story.
and there he was, telling me he started it.
so, now, i am completely bowled over with the beauty
of my world. here is my son who is actually willing to
go on a bike ride early in the morning with me,
easily adapting to runnin’ out for fun and then telling
me he heard me about a story that i had read,
that i had found powerful,
and he was checking it out too.
i am so darn lucky.
and then he told me about a couple of the gems in
the first few pages. which i believe i actually have posted
here at some point. but i’m gonna post again.
because they’re gems.
because they’re perfect as we head into thanksgiving.
and because my son saw that they were gems.
and because he shared them with me this morning.
so for all of us –
as we go deal with all kindsa people or as we hide
from all kindsa people –
the holiday is here, and this is good stuff –
keep it in mind for those around you.
keep it in mind for your own self.
‘Empathy means realizing no trauma has discrete edges.
Trauma bleeds. Out of wounds and across boundaries.’
‘Empathy comes from the Greek empatheia – em (into) and
pathos(feeling) – a penetration, a kind of travel. It suggests
you enter another person’s pain as you’d enter another country,
through immigration and customs, border crossing by way of
query: What grows where you are? What are the laws? What
animals graze there?’
and then, finally, this gem, that i think is just something we
should all carry around with us in our pockets or in our minds –
‘Empathy isn’t just remembering to say that must really be hard –
it’s figuring out how to bring difficulty into the light so it can be
seen at all. Empathy isn’t just listening. It’s asking the questions
whose answers need to be listened to. Empathy requires inquiry
as much as imagination. Empathy requires knowing you know nothing.
Empathy means acknowledging a horizon of context that extends
perpetually beyond what you can see….’
wishing us all peace as we enter the holiday…