so many ways to listen…

the image and quote above –
i posted it really recently.

it’s part of my new year’s intentions.
to listen more.
to learn me more.

this morning i stumbled into something
that i hope will become a new practice.
or…well….part of THIS practice.
a sub-practice!

i’ve been trying to figure out ‘start’ times for my day.
i get up early as that seems to be when i can fit in the
‘luxury’ stuff that i can easily run out of time for.

things like talking to the universe,
lighting candles and stretching,
talking to my imaginary friends –
those kinda things.

obviously not luxuries but necessities.
but you know what i mean –
they can get cut from the schedule in a heartbeat.

so i’m playin’ around tryin’ to make it the best for me that i can.

i decided to try to set my inner alarm clock in my head,
and see if i can make that work for me.
i’ve done it before easily.
but then got really reliant on an alarm clock,
and seem to have lost the knack.

so i’m workin’ on getting that back.
gettin’ the knack back, jack.

this morning when i woke up,
it was dark, the bed was warm, outside of the bed was cold,
i was cozy, i was getting ready to roll back over and go to sleep.
i had no idea what time it was. i do this fairly often as i sleep,
so that seemed like a reasonable thing.

but then i realized –
‘wait! LISTEN!’ i told myself.
you just woke up. listen to that and check the time.
it was EXACTLY when i wanted to wake.

oh man, i was so tickled.
yes, that i woke up at the right time. yes.
but ALSO because i just caught myself –
i almost didn’t hear.
it was so quiet, i almost didn’t hear.
it was so tempting NOT to hear.

and suddenly, i realized – this isn’t gonna be JUST about creating my own
alarm clock inside of me – this is gonna be a practice in listening.

that absolutely thrills me.