self compassion

why the heck is it so hard
to remember self compassion?!

i think i need a huge sign hanging up somewhere
that just reminds me that this even exists and
is something to offer ourselves.

so how did i remember this time?
i was reminding someone else!
i literally just snorted as i typed that.

yeah.
i’m so brilliant sometimes.
can see clearly for someone else.
but for myself?
oh yeah. i forgot.

but for this person,
i could feel it.
and in suggesting it to her,
i heard it.

it’s the going deeper thing.
and i think this is true of just about everything we feel –
we need to go down a layer or two
and look at WHY we’re feeling what we’re feeling.
once there, the self compassion that’s needed is pretty evident.

why do i forget that?
i guess those top feelings are so strong sometimes
they just sweep me away.

so, now….here’s the thing i’m gonna be tinkering with –
i was sad yesterday.
blue.
took me all day before i remembered the well!
(that’s a few blogs back if you don’t know what i’m talkin’ about)
i remembered that the feelings were flowing thru me,
they weren’t me.
that helps a lot. i like that.

but now i wanna play with the self compassion AND the well.
how do they work together?

if i had remembered the self compassion early on,
would the feelings flowing thru the well change?
or would there just be extra ones flowing with the sad ones?
maybe that’s how it works?
i don’t know.

seems to me when i do manage the self compassion,
an understanding kinda comes over me.
an understanding and an acceptance and even a relief.

how the heck does all this work together?!
ahhhh that’s the beauty of it all…..i have no idea.
just hoping to figure out a little more before i’m 90!

today, tho, i think i’ll just take the self compassion,
be grateful i remembered it,
and just offer myself a little understanding.

how about you?
wanna join me?