pondering…

so i had a thought this morning.
and i posted it on my facebook page.

let me just cut and paste it right here –

i took a walk this morning. i don’t know where i’ve been, but i was back today. lookin’ at the stars, talkin’ to myself, and bumping into beauty everywhere. there was one tree that just made me stop and stare and just wonder – it stands in a spot where it catches the sunrise every morning full on. just bam, arms…or um….branches….wide open catchin’ every bit of the burst of color from the start of the day. and now? it seems like the tree that wanted to start the party early. it’s changing more than any other tree. and it’s full of sunburst colors. i kid you not. i couldn’t get over it. made me think about us, ya know? if we stand there full on catching the beauty of the day, do we become it as well? what a thought to start the day……..good morning!

so i’ve been thinking about this.
especially now as i’m climbing outta the hole i fell in.

i sit here and try to figure out where i’ve been.
and i can see some of the zig zags i’ve been doin’ along the path.

a friend wrote me over the weekend.
she was struggling and she shared some of what was going on.
i wrote her back knowing full well i wasn’t thinking clearly.
yet also knowing that whatever came out as i typed would be
something that i would need to hear myself.

and sure enough, i wrote something about balance.
how even in the pit, i needed to find balance.

balance keeps coming up for me.
and a weird question popped into my head as i typed here.
‘is mindfulness balance?’
maybe it’s a tool to help with balance?

i don’t know.
but i think that i lose the ‘standing there full on catching the beauty
of the day’ when i lose the balance.
and it’s a circle.
cause the more i don’t stand there opening,
the less balanced i am.

and this is what i want.
i want to do what this tree is doing.
i want to stand full open catching the sunrise.
i want to turn into the colors of the sunrise.
i want to start the party early
and be full of light.

thinking i gotta start with balance.