i don’t think it was a growth spurt.
but more like a – back against the wall,
you WILL get this lesson, or break – spurt.
that’s what it felt like.
that’s not right.
it didn’t FEEL like that.
it just felt like my back was pushed up against
a wall, and i was gonna break.
i didn’t realize there was a lesson to get.
altho, there always seems to be a lesson to get, doesn’t there?
i honestly feel like i came close to breaking.
but i’ve got some pretty good survival instincts.
and just when it really hit one heck of a point for me –
cried a lot.
and found my way again.
and now i’m going up.
because that was hard.
so i’m being extra gentle with myself.
i took myself to my favorite grocery store, just because i like food.
and i took the beautiful route, because i find it healing.
and i realized that i figured out some really important stuff
that i needed to figure out thru this tumble thru this pit i just did.
and i actually got excited about that.
i’m still a little raw.
gingerly rawly excited.
cause what i really want is to grow.
and i think i just got shoved up onto the next level
in the climb outta the muck that blinds me.
which is way cool, isn’t it?
so, yeah, i know this is vague.
cause the point isn’t what i found.
for now, the point is that if you’re pinned up with
your back against the wall, feeling like you might break,
i wanted to remind you – you’ll find your pivot point.
and you might end up kinda grateful for the whole thing.
which is nuts, isn’t it?!
what a journey.