on my mind

the whole ‘it’s up to us’ thang
has been on my mind a lot lately.

i have been doin’ serious inner work for years and years now.
and if i stop to really really really think about it,
i can see how far i’ve come.
(yes, and how far i have yet to go! – but for now,
we’re talkin’ about change.)

the problem is, it’s not something you can just look in the mirror
and realize you traveled far.
you have to kinda sit still and really give it some thought.
or have circumstances come up where you see your reactions
have changed.

which is all why i think that it’s NOW that i’m starting to really really
get how it is our own selves that change things for us.
because –
i HAVE been looking in a mirror and seeing a difference.
i have been workin’ on uppin’ my healthy lifestyle for over a year now.

and i am finally seeing a change happening.
and yeah, i’m liking it.
but that’s not what’s really got me tickled –
it’s the seeing of a change in myself from my own doing –
i don’t have to stop and figure it out –
i can just look and see.

so that’s made an impression on me.

i have been thinking of all the pain we all carry around.
and maybe we are kinda just stuck with the thought of it always
having to be that way. maybe this is about both emotional and
physical pain.

maybe it doesn’t!
maybe it doesn’t have to be that way.
but the thing is –
no one can change it but our own darn selves.

and that’s what i’ve been thinking a lot about lately.

why don’t we?

why have i waited 58 years to REALLY live as healthy as i can all the way around? what stopped me? or maybe it should be – why is it i didn’t start?

yesterday, as i thought about all this,
i wrote –
‘perhaps the way to truly love someone back to living,
is to remind them that the fire of all that is
still burns bright inside them.
waiting for them to show up.’

i wanted to remind all of us today.

it’s up to us to show up.
i truly believe that.