man i know it when i bump into it…

well, it’s a law of the universe –
walk around saying you want to polish your heart
and tie up as many lose strings as you can,
well, then, yeah…
the tarnished, frayed places will show right on up!

and, of course, one did this morning.
and i walked around talking to myself out loud,
alone in the house.

well, more like ranting to myself.
and yeah, sweet, peaceful terri was using the word
‘hate’ as she thought of someone.

hmmmm…..

i knew that meant something.
but i just wanted to feel the anger for a bit.
didn’t want to have to not hate.
just wanted to hate for a bit.
it felt important to let the feelings out.

but i knew, really, it wasn’t hate.
but i spit the word out more than once cause i needed to.

then i grabbed some books to look for some direction and wisdom.

i saw one word – ‘compassion’ – in the middle of a page.
didn’t even read what it said…just saw ‘compassion’
and was immediately reminded that it was prolly time for self compassion.

THE SECOND i thought of that….THE MOMENT that thought hit my brain,
the tears poured outta my eyes.

ahhhh…definitely on the right track.
man, do i know it when i bump into it sometimes.

what was hurting inside was immediately obvious,
and as soon as i could offer myself compassion, i felt like i could
breathe deeper.

and honest to pete, it just took a few moments before compassion towards
the person i was just spitting hate at seeped right on in.

breathing deeper, i browsed thru some pages from the books i pulled down.
found this quote –
and wanted to share…

‘Something we were withholding made us weak
Until we found out that it was ourselves.’
– Robert Frost