landing back in!

ohmygosh!
where am i?
who am i?
what day is it?!

landing back in after some definite holiday madness.
and loving the quiet and routine.
ahh yes.

so many thoughts these past weeks,
and couple good insights!

in all honesty, i think this was one of the best
christmas seasons ever.
and yes, i know how lucky i am to have had it.

and because of that,
it’s kinda nuts that this is the year
i really saw that you can’t have the good without the ‘bad.’

and i saw how holidays really really bring the difficult to light.

i mean, i really saw it.

maybe i could ‘see’ it cause there was so much good,
it couldn’t take the good away.
and so maybe there was more room to be objective and observe?

i don’t know.
but observe i did.

i feel like i understand in a deeper way that this is living.
that things are never all anything.
well…no, that’s not true –
i think they are always one thing –
A WHOLE HEAP OF A MIX OF THINGS!
they are always a mix.
always.

i’m kinda thinking i should know that in my bones by now.
i think i have known it in my head,
and it’s just now starting to sink to my bones.

i think that believing this takes some of the sparkle
out of the top layer of life –
i think it probably does.
but i think it puts such richness in the deeper layers,
that it really is a cool thing.

i am heading into this new year
wanting to see clearly,
and to open fully.
and yeah, i figure i need this next decade to even figure out
what that really means.

and i’m in for the journey!
happy new year!