keeping them separate

this mind watching thang?
i’m thinking i really really
REALLY wanna get the hang of this!

one of the things i mentioned a few blogs back was the idea about moments being separate. and how noticing that is really helpful.

okay, so i’m totally new to this, and i hate to cream what the author was saying. so i’m really hesitant to credit the author and book for this,
but i will because this is where i got the thought – but i apologize up front
if i’m creaming his thought! it’s from bruce tift’s ‘already free’ book.

he mentions dominoes and how when you line them up and
knock one over and they all get going, they look like one big thing
moving….but they’re not. they’re a buncha individual things.

and that’s our moments. they are individual things.
yet, we tend to clump our moments together and make stories outta them.

he gives an example of dropping a glass of orange juice and it breaks.
instead of it being a moment the glass fell and broke, it becomes a story –
‘i’m always so clumsy.’ or ‘why does my partner always buy slippery glasses?’ or whatever. right? we make a thing outta it and our story is off and running.

so, like i say, i’m not clear on this –
but! my unclear self tried it yesterday in a moment that felt bad.
and woe woe woe! i was genuinely surprised at what happened!

so this moment happens.
and i immediately feel bad.
and yep, the story started right up about it!
and it was a totally negative story.
but i stopped and said ‘wait. it was just a moment.
it’s not a thousand moments,
it’s not the past, it’s not the future. it’s just a moment.’

and i thought about the moment and what it was that really
happened in that moment.
no story attached.
just the moment.
and then!
the not so good feeling totally morphed!

it just totally changed.

it went from a pain/anger/resentment kinda feeling
to a total understanding of where the pain REALLY came from
and there was a sudden flood of self compassion.

no darn kidding.
like i didn’t try to do that.
it just did it on its own!

i don’t think that’s what he was saying was gonna happen!
and i’m laughin’ as i type this.
i think i have some learning to do.
not that this was bad.
i found this incredible!
just that i’m unclear on all of this and have so much to learn.

but i am stumbling into really cool things.
and so i thought i’d share….