here’s a thought

okay, i’m thinking i’ve had this thought before.
and yeah, very possible i shared it before.
but i’m gonna go with this scattered
menopausal mind
and just figure that we need to make allowances
for weird brain capacities now.

yesterday i had the weirdest mix-up thing happen
cause of my weird brain capacity. and i guess i shoulda
been embarrassed, but it turned out so fun, that i wasn’t.
and i realized i really gotta just go with this. it can add
a lot to my days!

ah, but i digress…..

so….let me see…….the thought –

betrayal. disappointments. people not seeing who we are.

all that stuff really hurts.

was reminded of some of it this morning.
shook my head and wondered how they could have done
what they did.

and then it occurred to me.
there’s a really high chance that all the people (or most of them)
that i feel betrayed by, disappointed in, or not seen by,
have the same feeling about/from me.
they feel the same stuff.
like i did the same thing to them.
which is weird.

i mean seriously?!

YOU did the betraying.
not me.

ahem.
i think they’d say the same thing.

different angles.
different viewpoints.

hurts all around.

(okay. this does NOT apply to abuse situations
and i’m not even goin’ near that, okay? so don’t do that.
this is the every day kinda stuff…haven’t thought
about abuse. that’s another blog…)

so.
while i think some people have some pretty big issues
and twist things and may actually be the ones who did
the disappointing or whatever –
at the very same time – and because they can twist things –
they feel the same towards me – like i did the hurting.

and sometimes there just are times when both parties
truly have just equally disappointed each other.

the point is –
that for whatever reason,
my actions, choices, words have been taken as betrayal
and hurt and disappointment to others as much as i’ve
experienced it from others.

and that feels like something important to understand.

there’s so many takes to it –
if someone misunderstands your intentions and twists things
because of their issues did YOU hurt them?

no.

but none of that matters.

the only point and thing i really want to get across here is
that it occurred to me today that people are carrying as much
hurt about me as i am about them.

and maybe the most light filled thing to do is to know that,
set it all down –
all of it –
and keep moving forward as gently as possible
with intentions we can keep believing in.

that was my thought this morning.
i thought there was power in it.
well – power in the carrying out of it.
which, um…..now i gotta try to do.

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