here comes the joy!

go figure!
i guess i needed to get this announcement
outta the way –

yesterday i sent out word that this whole retirement
thing is ACTUALLY happening!
kinda darn fast!

you can find that here.

up until then,
and a bit afterwards,
i was feeling all kindsa things.
terror was on top of the list!
sadness definitely mixed in.
hope for good things was a big part.

but not joy.

UNTIL!
until this morning.
it started comin’ on in, baby!
and i could feel this weight slipping off
as the joy slipped in.

WOW!

wow.

i am so excited about this.

i have NO idea where i’m goin’,
what i’m doin’,
and how to make sense out of any of it.

but to have a weight slip off
while joy slips in –

well, that just makes me cry with gratitude.

i just never know what’s gonna happen
inside me, ya know?
and following because you’re sposed to follow,
well, yeah, it sounds great,
but it sure is scary.

and gosh.
i am just so darn grateful to feel good this morning.

and something that really hit me today?
i started all this to feed my kids.
to raise my kids.

i did it.
my gosh, i did it.

i am truly falling to my knees in gratitude today.