as i write this, it’s not quite love month yet –
but almost!
so i’m gonna go ahead and say it –

i gotta tell ya,
i’ve wrestled with valentine’s day
and love month this year.
‘feel the love’ hasn’t always been there.

i know.
not what you’d expect.

but i think i have just tried so hard to get people to rethink the whole holiday. every year i shout out as much as i can that it’s not just about romantic love, but all kindsa love – including SELF love – and that we can take the whole concept and make it wonderful. if you’ve hung with me for any amount of time, you have definitely heard this!

and well, i guess it doesn’t feel like that goes very far.

and…well, it’s more than that…

people can be really grouchy about the holiday.
and well, people lately can be pretty grouchy about all kindsa things.

so this year i started out feelin’ pretty deflated.
which is a bummer, as i have to start early and get valentines rolling way ahead of time to stock up shops.

so i’ve been sitting myself down periodically. havin’ talks with myself.
i can get in really good places and go spread the love. but then i get stuck. and then i sit myself down and have another conversation with myself. and then i spread love again. and then i get stuck again. and on and on i go. so that’s what’s been going on.

but then, i realized – maybe it’s because i’m looking OUTSIDE of myself.
not inside.
and that never seems to get me very far.
it’s all about the focus.
i say that a lot.
well, i think it really fits right now.

for me, when you get right down to it,
there isn’t anything else that matters except love.

i mean that with my whole heart.
that is so darn awesome, isn’t it?!

it’s what i want to fill my life with.
it’s what i want my moments to be made of.

when i went there i could feel my sails filling up again.

but it’s HARD.
it’s really really hard.

i have heard things are either fear or love.
never both.
always one or the other.
they just come in lotsa different forms
and sometimes you have to really look close
to see what’s what.

and to really really love, you gotta drop the fear.
again – i’m not just talkin’ romantic love.
i’m talkin’ ANY love.


all the moments.

all the moments?
without fear?
well, okay, yeah, i’m not real good at that.
but wow, i want to be.
i really really want to be.

and for me,
love month is a month that this intention is more obvious.
it’s like normally there’s a sticky note on my desk reminding me to ‘be love.’
but in love month it’s more like instead of a sticky note –
it’s carved over the entire top of the desk.

it’s so much harder to ignore.
which is wonderful.

i sit and think of ways to let my loved ones know how much
i treasure them.
the idea of loving myself comes to mind much more often.
i think hard about what the loving thing to do is in tough situations.

that is tremendously good stuff!
and stuff worth celebrating!

i can’t change valentine’s day for anyone else.
and i think i have been banging my head against the wall trying.
i gotta stop that.

all i can do is celebrate it in the way that works for me.
and for me, it’s celebrating love – for my husband, for my sons,
for those special people around me – and for myself –
with a full and open heart.

with a full and open heart.

choosing to fill as many moments as i can with love.

how can that thought not fill my sails up again?!

and once again, i gotta smile.
terri, you just gotta remember to focus inward. not outward.
you gotta remember to walk gently. with yourself first. and then
as you travel through this world of so many different people –
travel gently with love.

so, however you celebrate valentine’s day – or the month of love –
i hope you find yourself focusing inward in a way that brings you
peace and comfort.

we are love.
isn’t that crazy beautiful?!
so, yeah, i’ll be celebrating that this month!
with a full and open heart.

that’s my intention as we head into february.