i lit some candles this morning and sat with them in my dark living room.
the fire from the pellet stove added to the candle light, and the room felt warm and cozy.
there’s someone in my life who has been struggling for ages with different health stuff. i don’t even know what to call him. i guess ‘friend’ – but we really barely know each other, have only talked in person twice, and then again once or twice on the phone. and ‘friend’ doesn’t seem to describe it quite right anyway.
i feel like we’re the oldest of friends. that feels so much more like it. if there are past lives, we definitely knew each other. there’s a bond and a caring there that doesn’t make a whole lotta sense, unless you start talking about soul levels.
which matters to me this morning as i think of him, because it reminds me that there’s so much more to this being here, to connecting, to caring, to loving than i can ever fully understand.
i lit the candles for him. and sat and just tried to be still and peaceful. to send him some of that peace. he’s got medical stuff today, and i’m praying it goes easy for him.
as i sat there, the thought ‘take care of what you’ve got’ floated through my mind.
take care of what you’ve got.
for me, right now, that means so many things.
i don’t like ‘the world’ right now. the politics, the division, the non-thinking. but there’s not a lot i can do about that. it will spin with or without me. so why not without?
every reason for without, actually.
because if i keep my nose outta all that stuff, i can turn to my own world with the strength that i would lose to that other. i can turn to my own world and see the good that i have. i can feel the gratitude of all that surrounds me.
yes, that seems very much to be taking care of what i have.
i can take time to care for my body. it’s in major need of stretching right now. i can spend some quiet time taking care of that.
i can take care of my home right now. it’s in some need of attention as well.
my marriage, my family, those i love… my business, my joys, my sorrows – all of that.
take care of what you have.
and i’m thinking you can’t take care of it unless you see it. ya know? you gotta see it. and once seen, that gratitude kinda has to flood through, because my gosh, all of us have so much just by being here journeying together.
which brings me back to my ‘oldest of friends’ – how do i take care of him today?
ohmygosh, we are well into love month and i haven’t even been shouting about it.
i think i got burnt out on it about two years ago – for years and years i was tryin’ to get people to see we could celebrate ALL kindsa love – including SELF love this month. and really hoping people would see how awesome that is.
i believe it in so much, that i think if we wanted to, we could change it into that kinda thing. it wouldn’t have to be the dopey thing we’ve made it into.
sigh. each year though, i met with such resistance that i finally stopped hollering about it.
but that’s not okay, is it?
if you believe in something, you believe in it because of what you feel, not what others tell you.
i’m world weary. covid weary. politically weary. people weary.
there’s one thing i know that counters all that weariness – a good focusing on love. NOT on what others can give me, but what i can give myself and offer outside of myself.
the last thought i had last night before i fell asleep was about ‘walking with god.’ how we all have to do our own walk. and that’s where we have to focus. the minute we focus outside of us, we’re not doin’ that walk anymore.
love month is the same. it’s exactly the same stuff. love month – done right – is walking with god.
thought i’d shout that out today. because i believe it.