journal

musings and ponderings…

November 25, 2019

gratitude week

well, here we are!
thanksgiving week.
gratitude week.

i didn’t get much sleep last nite.
and i was feeling edgy this morning.
bordering on cranky.

yeah.
there’s a good start to gratitude week, huh?

actually, i kinda think it is.

so i ran a buncha errands and drove around under the sky
and thru the tree lined back streets.

and the day did just like it says above –
it wrapped its beauty right around me.

i don’t think i’ve ever really understood before
how much i need to have some kinda contact with the day,
every single day.
to see the sky and the trees and feel the air.

but it’s really sinking in how much i need that.
and this morning i really really did.
i’m kinda wondering if this is true for every
single one of us. and we just forget.

so while it wasn’t a big long hike in the mountains,
it was a beautiful drive back from the grocery store.
i took the long, back way.
at one point you can see the river in the distance.
it’s beautiful.
i soaked it in.

this is really a good time of year for thanksgiving, isn’t it?
it feels so perfectly right.
and when i stop,
and i soak it in,
i can’t help but feel grateful.

life isn’t perfect.
never will be.
some big hurts come up this time of year.
as well as plenty of good stuff –
if we let it.

the best way i know to open the door
to that good stuff is gratitude.

not feelin’ it?
maybe get out under that sky.
soak it in.
talk to a tree.

the season is profound.
let’s open to its depths.

November 22, 2019

offering love…

my etsy shop

i wanted to do a special project
this season to offer love.
it’s these!

inexpensive originals with a quote that speaks to me,
each made with intention and love.

okay, truthfully, that’s really all the stuff i make.
i guess this is just a practice in intention for me.
the thing i really need to practice is the photography!
mmmm. sorry about that.
i am off to work on that a bit.

it’s been a whirlwind here,
so i’m just getting this up as best i can now.
i really wanted to post one today.
this quote seemed to resonate with a lot of people.
and i thought it’d be awesome to offer it.
it certainly resonates with my heart.

if you go over and don’t see it,
that just means it sold.
i will try to make them throughout the season
and keep offering them.

what a perfect time of year for this reminder!
come on over if you feel like it!
you can click here to go right to the shop!

November 21, 2019

how do you start your day?

i just read a little piece of writing
from mark nepo where he talked about
how he started his day.

i loved it.
he opens the curtains and makes coffee for his wife –
letting light in and doing something for someone he loves.

how beautiful is that?!

i really loved that and thought about how i start –
i get right up, get dressed and scoot right out to see the day.
i also love that.

but he’s got me thinking.
and i’m thinking i’m gonna tweak just a little bit.
i’m not sure how yet.
but i love the symbolism of what he does
and the intention behind it.

doesn’t matter if we have partners or not,
we can all figure out the right symbolism that works for us.

and wow…
i love the idea of such intention on the very very start.

wanted to pop it out here in case anyone else wants to think
about this as well.

what a delightful thing to figure out!

November 20, 2019

a little light

i usually get my outside holiday lights up today.
yeah.
today.

i know.
it’s a little early.
i generally light them for a little bit tonite,
then leave them off til right after thanksgiving.

but tonite is a nite that i like to put a little light
out into the darkness.

today marks the anniversary of the day that
someone i loved took her own, very young life.

this is my way of honoring her just a little bit.

i like the image of shooting some light out there,
in the darkness –
for anyone needing reminding that there IS light
even when it feels really really dark,
for anyone who needs a boost of hope,
for anyone who just needs a smile.
and for her.
always always for her.

this year tho, we got them up last nite!
first time ever i actually was ahead of time.
i did the main decorating with my husband and son,
but then, after it was quiet, and just me left,
i went around to my back yard,
and put the last few strands up.
for me –
to see from my kitchen window.

it was dark.
i was alone.
and i was thinking of her as i quietly wrapped the lights
around the tree branches.

it’s been a long time since we lost her.
she’d be a grown woman now.
time.
tragedy.
death.
pain.
support.
caring.
light.

it’s all in there, isn’t it?

and love.
love that lives on.

light and love.
not sure there’s really much of a difference.
i know there won’t be when i turn the lights on tonite.
i will totally be shooting love out into the world.

and just a reminder –
in case you need to hear it –
you matter.
more than you could possibly realize.
we all do.

November 19, 2019

love this thought!

was listening to a lecture this morning –
jordan peterson talking about
existentialism and authenticity.

it was awesome.
he was explaining existential thought about what is immoral.

and he said –
‘what’s immoral are those things you could change that you do
that result in outcomes that are catastrophic for you.’

what an interesting thought!

and then somewhere further along he presented the thought
(also existential) that something is a pathology if it’s undermining
your ability to live.

oh! i love these two things.
i had to stop everything and write them down.
so thought i’d share them here with you.

it’s just cool stuff we can play with, ya know?
i love stuff like that.

the lecture is long.
but absolutely wonderful.
if you have any interest, you can find it here.

November 18, 2019

it has definitely started!

and! etsy too!

so yeah, okay,
i personally got a bit excited
about christmas a wee bit early.

this weekend i put my christmas tree up!
it is so cozy and peaceful.

which is why i did it.
i wanted to sit with those peaceful lights during the evenings.
and maybe i just needed a little extra peace and cheer.

it feels nice.

business-wise tho, it’s not too early at all to be thinking of the holidays!
i have been gathering bone sighs and stocking up shops and doin’ all that think ahead stuff you gotta do when you offer art.

i will be grabbing some stuff here to ship out in the next couple days to a gallery that carries bone sighs. i’m thinking i’ll be grabbing the originals
that haven’t sold on my etsy shop.

so i wanted to holler everywhere i could –
if you were thinking of grabbin’ one of these,
go for it, as they may be travelin’ elsewhere real soon.

and keep your eyes out in our etsy shop if you’re looking for originals,
as that’s where i’ll be poppin’ them!

you can find the shop here!

ho! ho! ho!

November 15, 2019

TWO great answers!

so.
yeah.
it started with two great questions!

i was walking and thought about what i wanted to ask
someone that i would meet instead of that standard ol’ question –
‘what do you do?’
what would be a question i’d rather hear the answer to?

well, turns out there were two –

what would your dream job be?
and
what would your dream life look like?

yeah.
nice, huh?
i like those.

so, without any real thought,
i just asked myself those things.
just because.

and BAM!
guess what?!
i mean…..just guess darn what?!

i’m living BOTH of my answers!
woe.
woe.
WOE!

honest to pete!
woe.
my answers are the life i already have!

so, yeah, that kinda took my breath away.
‘specially right now, as i have been havin’ a hankering
for more money.
yes, i know.
what can i say?
just sometimes i wish i had a little more.
and then that wishing for that tends to tumble me into
self doubt and wondering what the heck i’m doing with my life.

well, wonder no more, girl!
you’re living what you would choose!
get over the finances, terri,
cause you are so darn rich it’s crazy!

ha!
that put my life back into beautiful perspective.
wow.

and! i know those questions can help us see what it is,
if anything, that we want to adjust in our lives.

so tossin’ them your way for the weekend.
good stuff to ponder!

November 14, 2019

ahhh communication…

i saw this great quote yesterday.
and i’ve been holding it ever since –

it’s from george bernard shaw –

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion

that it has taken place.”

wow.
ya know?
wow.

i’m sure you have as many examples as i do
of this very illusion happening.

communication.
communication.
communication.

it’s THE thing to get/have/create/do.

and yet, we don’t.
and worse, we think we do when we don’t.

i know it’s the key to parenting, marriage, friendship –
any relationship in your life.

the easiest place for me to watch it is in my marriage.
and i can’t tell you how many times i’ve said to my partner –
‘we absolutely suck at this communicating thing.’

and oh how i would like to say it was all his doing.
his lacking.
his missing it.
his darn fault.
rolling my eyes.
not by a long shot.
ohmygosh, we equally suck at it.

and it seems now, more than ever,
we can all witness the lack of communication all over
the darn place. it’s in your face now, not to be ignored.
that’s just the climate of the times.

you would think that would be the wakeup call for us –
ohmygosh, look! we don’t want to keep this going.
but nah…i guess it’s easier not to?
well, in the short run?

whatever the deal,
this quote really really struck me.
and once again, i want to hush up and listen.
and ask.
and listen again.

i just can’t seem to get enough of those reminders.


November 13, 2019

on my mind…

i keep thinking about the vastness of the universe.
i mean…
it’s so darn vast.

and makes no sense –
toss in as vast as it is upward,
it’s just as vast downward.

and THEN!
toss in some of the stuff i can experience
at really exceptional moments –

and well…the words in the image above
are on my mind…

November 12, 2019

swimmin’…

for awhile here,
it’s been sink or swim, baby.

my partner’s been struggling with some health stuff
which has been quite the challenge.

thankfully, thankfully, that struggle seems to be letting up.
my fingers are crossed we keep moving upward.

but one way or another,
it’s been quite the learning experience for me.

there were times i just didn’t know how to handle it all.
finally, finally, i just turned to the only thing i could adjust – me.

i have been doin’ a lotta inner work
as well as outer work.
i have never exercised so much in my life.

today, as i got off the treadmill,
i realized that all this exercising has saved me.

it really has.

and i remembered another time in my life that i had turned
to the treadmill as if it were a life line –
i was dealing with some dark dark stuff
that sometimes just overwhelmed me.
so much so that i would start to feel insane.
whenever i got that ‘insane’ feeling coming on,
i hopped on the treadmill and ran on it til the feeling left.
sometimes i did this multiple times a day.
just stopping everything and hopping up for a run.

it saved me then.
and now, a beautiful combination of exercises is saving me again.

and as i do some of them,
i go to my inner world.
where i can laugh and do things like roll into the lap of god.

inner world.
outer world.
they need each other.
and i need to be slipping in and out of both in the best way possible
when things are really hard.

right now it’s thru exercise.

i wanted to put this out there for anyone else struggling.
sometimes it’s the last place we go when times are hard.
but my gosh, sometimes it really should be the first.

hopefully things will just keep looking up here.
but one way or another,
i don’t want to stop the exercising now.
i see the difference it makes in my life.
and i’m a believer.
not doin’ it cause i ‘have’ to any more.
doin’ it cause i want to.

i have no idea when that happened,
but i love that it did.