an angel came thru…

you know how sometimes you land in a place
of ohhhhh…..i don’t know…..
a mixture of sadness with maybe a tiny bit
of loneliness and maybe mix in self doubt
or just plain confusion? all the while moving
in places of joy that you can wrap yourself
in as well?

does that describe it?
it’s not all bleak.
it’s just way heavy along with the good.
way shaky mixed in between the safe moments.
and well….it’s a lot to balance.

and it gets me confused sometimes.

and sometimes when hit with too much sorrow,
i can feel myself topple.
like as i drove the short distance to the
post office this morning.
i popped on the radio only to land into the news.
story after story that kept tearing at my heart.

i wanted to pull over and just sob.
but instead, went in with a smile on my face
and said hello to everyone.

hit the next stop, the grocery store,
equally as friendly and cheery.

but all the time feelin’ this heaviness
that i didn’t know what to do with.

and then a customer’s call turned things around.
he had a question about an order,
but there was something about his voice that
just felt good.

not only that,
he was ordering one of my favorite quotes.
one of the quotes i need to read over and over
today. the quote called knowing.

and as we chatted,
he reminded me of the light, the dark,
and the knowing.
he reminded me exactly of what the quote
was talking about.

honest to pete,
it was like he was an angel that just popped
in to remind me to keep the knowing.
to remind me that i am indeed going in the
direction i want to go. and that it did matter.

he was my living quote.

and that too, reminded me of the magic all
around. if i only open to it.

it’s there.
we just need to know it.

thanking my angel today.
and chanting ‘knowing’ to myself over and over!

maybe it’s not about the darkness.and maybe it’s not about the light.maybe it’s about the knowing.the knowing there is sacred always.even when you can’t see it.maybe it’s the knowing that’s the holy part.”