a start…

i so much want to talk about
all the stuff in this book i just read.

yet, trying to figure out how to start
is really really hard.

the book is ’12 rules for life’
and the author crams so much in there
that it’s really tricky for me to figure out
how to nutshell it and talk about it.

this is the book i mentioned earlier.
and the author is soooo different from the author
that i am forever quoting here, mark nepo.
so, honestly, if you’re curious about it,
don’t go looking for a poetic book, like mark’s!
jordan just lays it all out there, doesn’t sugar coat
anything and bam just makes you go ‘ooooch.’
mostly in a good way.

i finally finished it,
and i’m a bit bummed about that,
because i can’t just say i’m gonna read about these rules –
now i feel like i gotta try to live them.

and they’re pretty darn hefty things to live.

so where do i start?!

well, it just so happens that 17 years ago today
my husband and i were best friends who decided
to try this whole ‘real relationship’ thang.
we didn’t want to lose the friendship as it was so
incredibly valuable to both of us, and we were worried
about that – yet we dove in anyway.
(i’m pleased to say that friendship has truly deepened
and we don’t regret that decision at all!)

one of the best things we ever came up with as we traveled along,
was we really tried to look at our own selves during problems,
and when things were really hard and we felt really stuck,
we would ask the other ‘what is it you need from me?’
there were times this was way harder than others.

well, jordan (the author) offers what he and his wife do –
and i like it very much. it seems to refine ours a bit, certainly
cements it, and the concise question feels really helpful.
and of course, this holds true for any relationship –

when there’s a problem, they ask themselves ‘what have i done wrong,
and what can i do now to set things at least a little bit more right?’

he talks about how they go to different rooms and think about it.
really really think about it – and open to the answer.
which, well, that’s HARD!
and then they come back and offer what they got.
and this part i extra love – he says, ‘Perhaps that is true prayer.’

another form of that question is echoed through the book…
i actually wrote it down for my every day living – and as it turns
out, i use constantly in my relationship now – it feels very similar –

‘how can i use my time to make things better instead of worse?’

that darn question goes through my head all the time now.
and it really really really gets you thinking about your own words
and actions.

living the stuff he wrote about isn’t easy.
but wow, it’s good.