i had a really good moment the other day
while gathered with some friends.
we were talking about how we all seem
to carry issues and stuff from our past,
and that we don’t seem to lose those things
all the way to the end.
we all had seen enough examples of people
well into their 80’s still reacting to
things from childhood to know that it’s not unusual.
the consensus among my friends was that this was
just the way it is. and there wasn’t any changing it.
and there i stood.
in total disagreement.
in such a good way.
i didn’t need anyone to agree with me,
i was okay with anyone thinking whatever they wanted,
but i didn’t believe that at all,
and wanted to honor this belief inside of me that says
we absolutely can heal and leave those things behind.
and so i said so.
nothing attached to it other than wanting to honor my belief.
they were my friends.
they know of the work i’ve been doing.
and they said ‘oh yeah! terri’s workin’ on this stuff!’
so they were quite open to my thoughts.
and it didn’t matter one way or another to me!
there is so much good in this story.
it’s a moment i’m still smiling about.
to have come to this belief is so exciting to me.
to know it is true for me and not needing it to be
for anyone else is so freeing.
to have my friends know and accept that part of me is beautiful.
and to want to keep traveling down this road of mine
is so deeply exciting.
i feel like i have spent close to 20 years finding
what it is i believe, and gathering tools to use to
heal and grow and now, i feel like after all this time,
i’m in the shop tinkering with them and starting to see
something take shape.
it’s so incredibly good.
and so was that moment i had with my friends.