a little ramblin’…

so i started ramblin’ on the
bone sigh arts facebook page.
i don’t know why.
sometimes i just do.
but it got me thinking,
so i thought i’d bring it over here
so i could really get on a roll.

i’ve been thinking about being healthy lately.
and there’s something that’s really intriguing me.

i think it started for me way back years and years ago
when i was in the middle of the whole divorce stuff
and counseling and all that –

i wanted to get healthy – emotionally healthy.
i was so tired of the dysfunction in me and around me.
so for about 16-17 years now, i’ve been working on that –
getting healthier.

if you were to ask me why, i would just say it’s gotta be
a good thing to do. i’m tried of dysfunction –
that kinda thing.
vague. broad. general. just feeling it was right.

but lately i’ve got a new thought which feels like maybe
everyone else on the planet musta had years ago –
it feels like one of those no-brainers for everyone else,
and total enlightening for me –

it’s this –

that working on getting healthy is vital because you’re
building your ship from that. where you go and the choices you make
and how you steer and everything comes from that point of how healthy you are.

it matters not because it seems like it’s a good thing to do
and you’re tired of dysfunction –
it matters because your entire life is formed from that place.
and, for me, living is about loving – yourself and others –
in a healthy way. if it’s not healthy, it’s not love.
so i can’t live the way i want unless i’m healthy.

this tangles into love –
something i give a ton of thought to.
to truly love – yourself and others – is so darn hard.
because it needs to come from a healthy place.
the muscles it takes to look at what drives you,
why you have the needs that you have, why you offer the things
that you offer – to really be honest with all that,
requires SUCH strength and honesty.
i find it SOOOO challenging.
actually, i think it’s the hardest thing to do ever.

and i see more and more clearly,
that being healthy is totally at the root of all this.

so. okay.
because of the rambling interactions on facebook, i am aware now that
someone reading this might be someone who hates themselves.
how do they view this? like they can’t be healthy? i’m not sure.
maybe they’ll tell me.

but i’m thinking the beauty of this thought is it works for anyone.
so what if you hate yourself – can you still figure ‘okay, well, maybe
i need to work on being healthy anyway.’ and go from there?
and is it possible the baby steps you take from there eventually
take you past self hatred?

i don’t know.

but wow…….what if it did?!