Dear, dear Universe,    Tonight I have sat and found center and I have observed this observer. I have seen this human being struggling with real and forgetting that grief is just another part of this human experience..... this experience for which I did consciously sign up. Thank you for time and for patience while I have walked with anger, doubt and pity. Those are some hats that don't look so good on me, but that I have to wear from time to time because I am human, with human conditions and I am still learning each new day.

Tonight I am thankful for the continued learning of vulnerability and grief. Very Thankful and filling with gratitude. I am grateful for some returning of clarity and the remembering that I can't see anything but crap when I have my head up my butt. What I believe that I see clearer, which I already Knew but had forgotten, is that when we experience  something that causes us to feel shock and sadness, we may feel the urge to withdraw from life.... as if that will help protect us from the world..... when what we really need to be doing is reaching out  to people we trust..... precious people who care. The Universe speaks to us through many channels and when our head is out in the world instead of stuck  in unpleasant places and when we are open to receiving her messages, we usually end up receiving nurturing care from loving sources who Know of our journeys in life. The fact is... that grief is part of the human experience and being able to share our vulnerabilities is one of the most powerful means of creating truly close bonds in our relationships. Why is it so hard for me to remember that? Why do the old rules about how sharing hurts and fears scare people away, continue tro automatically replay themselves? Why is it so difficult to remember that opening myself up allows me to get to the core of my being and beyond defenses and excuses. When we are cracked open and others can really see what we're made of.... we are both raw and fresh and we are able to be as real as real can be. That is when we are able to see who is really willing to walk with us on this path or even through this life..... and, sometimes....we discover that those who are sent to us may not be at all the ones we expected to see there. Regardless though.... we learn to trust in the Universe, in others, in our own strengths and resilience and in the wisdom of life itself. I am so grateful for the remembering of these lessons and the trust that is out there.

Dear Ter,   Today I am Thanking You for holding my gifts, my work, my compassion and all that is good. I am so grateful for your doing this for me while I work on finding the strength to hold them again myself. I know they are safe with you as I trust you  completely to hold them with care and respect. I am pretty sure that I know how to recover the trust in my self to retrieve them and I feel myself getting close to that place tonight. I felt you showing me the direction and urging me to go back there and rescue them and that is what I will be doing. I will find the strength and courage to face this and carry my gifts again in the process. Noone has ever offered to do that for me before and I am so touched that I have tears of gratitude. Thank You Friend. I will make you proud at my becoming and growing from this. I will remember how to unfold in my struggling and to open back up to embrace the fears and vulnerabilities as the gifts that they can be.

Der Anam Cara,      Thank you for wisdom and for love and for sharing. I am grateful that you're back. Thank you for letting me know that you're back to the world and waving at the moon. I missed you friend.

…had ah a-ha moment about boundaries. Many a therapist, coach and wise woman counsel the importance of having boundaries, and as soon as they do, my heart shrivels. I get the ick, uncomfortable feeling.

And not because I’m lacking in self-esteem and fear that people won’t love me if they can’t walk all over me.

But because all the talk about boundaries feels so off-putting, so arms-length, so much about distancing people from you, keeping them out. With a vengeance. I’ve seen people discover the gospel of boundaries and become shrill evangelists/customs officers. Borders are preached and patrolled and rigorously, angrily, loudly enforced.

But maybe they don’t have to be that way. To quote a cheesy film that you probably haven’t seen (I’m sorry if you have), boundaries don’t have to be about putting or keeping people out, they can be about inviting people in. They can be circles. They can be circles of protection.

A good man draws a circle around himself and cares for those within. His woman, his children.

Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters.

But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more.

Your father was one of those men. You must decide for yourself whether you are, as well. – TicTic in 10,000 BC

This is the way I’ve been thinking about boundaries: as an invitation, a circle of protection. Come inside.

We need boundaries to keep the people we want in our circles safe. Boundaries protect relationships because they ensure that you will NOT resentfully stretch too far and then snap and end a relationship.

My history is very snappy.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think there are other women out there, too, who avoid confrontation and awkward situations until they can’t anymore and poof! it’s all over.

So let’s get some boundaries. We don’t have to explain them, just stand in them, stand in them, stand in our circles, invite people – mates, children, family, friends, community – into these protected, safe spaces so we can take care of them without snapping.

And let’s do it like the most powerful young women I know: my daughter, Sophie. She’s eight years old, gentle, quiet, elegant, tall and thin and looks like a fragile flower. You might think she’s a fragile flower because she’s shy, she doesn’t fight, she doesn’t argue, she doesn’t explain, she doesn’t excuse or make excuses. But she has boundaries and if you cross them, she simply will.not.play.barbies.with.you.

But if you come correctly, she’ll play anything – including, oh god, the harmonica – for HOURS.

So it behooves certain five year olds (and everyone) to come correctly and respect her boundaries. Because then you’re in.

And – note to newly converted boundary-setting adults – there are no awkward conversations about the new fences. They’re just in place. Your limits become obvious to others when you respect them yourself.

Stand in your circles. There you can invite us in and keep us safe. Boundaries aren’t a no-trespassing sign, they’re an invitation, a promise of protection. They’re a gift to your people, not an awkward conversation.

By Kelly Diels  http://www.kellydiels.com/2012/04/17/towards-non-shrieky-boundaries/

Seems like it's been one of those Winters for lots of people..... the kind you really want to put behind you so that you can get to the good stuff that's waiting up the road.... or the highway, freeway  and byway. Sometimes you've just got to decide it's time for taking care of the Soul..... This  community is so full of wisdom and Love and support and it's time we nurtured that a bit and allow ourselves to take some time and be together..... in a great big bus that has been repaired, cleaned up and stocked with everything a group of like minded people would need for an enjoyable trip. We have every kind of music you can imagine and we're gonna make Terri bring her guitar and if you have some favorite CDs and/or DVDs, bring em. And bubbles.... if you have bubbles and bubble wands.... bring them please. We have art supplies up the wazoo, games, tons of food, books..... you name it we've got it, but you are sure welcome to bring any supplies and ideas you have. It is mandatory that you bring your imagination, sense of humor (warped is encouraged, but not necessary) and all of the Peace and Love you can stuff into your bags. (I will see to it that we have plenty of assorted tea flavors this time.) We will be doing a lot of sharing, learning, teaching, loving, inspiring, star gazing and moon watching. We will be telling some goofy stories and some very Sacred stories..... stories of our lives.... our triumphs, awakenings and our becoming who we are kinds of stories. And, mostly, we will be taking good care of our Souls and feeding them all the nourishment they can hold. But it takes our Souls to even make it work....... please join us on this journey.

So here's what we're talking about so far:

Bus is in Gainesville, Forida and will be pulling out tomorrow to pick up everyone who wants to come.... and if you can't come now, then we'll pick you up whenever you can. Bus needs a name.... any ideas?    From Florida, she will make her way North and then criss cross the country to grab us all up. When everyone's aboard that wants to be aboard, we will be starting with Alaska and working our way to any and all destinations suggested. There will be plenty of potty breaks for those of us with weak bladders, who like to laugh and not wet ourselves.... but there are also facilities on board. There will lots of fruits and veggies and some meat for those of us who partake in a steak. And the desserts are plentiful and so freakin good.... Ter will be bringing her granola, I'm sure.... Akasa makes delicious triple fudge layer cake.... I'm making some brownies, cookies and rice krispy treats and May May's bring some kind of Surprise ala mode.....right May May? She's got the best honey in the world for our morning tea.... and Stitched? What are you bringing girl? Whatever it is, make a ton of it because we like our desserts!! Sunflower Woman.... you're bringing snickers, twizzlers, sunflower seeds and what? And I'm sure that all of you have some speciality. So, lets get this road trip started..... let mytruth know which curb you'll be waiting at.... yell and wave so that we don't miss you and we'll slow way down and scoop you up.

So, I'm just letting you know now mytruth.... Ter will try to make you drive the entire way across the country... don't let her get away with that, (And make her wear her seatbelt please)....   keep Stitched away from the stereo and watch your pjs (Ter likes to steal them if they've got cute anumals on them)...Please be mindful when you stop for pee breaks.... May May tends to wander off and has been known to be left (not on purpose of course) but please make sure that she's back on the bus before you take off. I don't want to lose her anymore. I would be really sad. Be safe, have fun.... and I will see you all when you get to ID, USA!

I came across an idea that I fell in love with.  I'm sure you've seen or heard of Tibetan prayer flags.  Well, this is the same kind of thought, but artsy and personalized. (I tried to add a photo to this post, but I'm not so sure that is working - the link is http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/809/flags2.jpg/ to see the image) 

Previously, I asked for some ideas on facebook, for quotes, or prayers, or wishes, or whatever you want to call them - all those words with positive energy behind them... and I took a few of those ideas and put them on my own version of 'prayer flags'.  They are to be hung outside so that the wind can carry the 'prayers' all through the world.  (Since they are not weatherproof, I only put mine outside briefly, on a few sunny days, and then hung them in my living room.)  Anyhow, Miss Terri saw the post, and suggested I bring the idea here to you! 

Maybe it is a project you'd like to do for yourself as well!  But I would love some more short 'prayers', wishes, quotes, etc to put on the flags.  Eventually, I might offer some for sale on my Etsy shop as well, for anyone who might want them.  It has become one of those projects that is deeply meaningful and has an element of personal healing to it.  I have a love affair with the wind anyhow, and the thought of it carrying healing and positive energy with it - mmm, love it!!!

In the photo are just a few examples of the first flags - but there are endless possibilities.  So if you have any ideas - I'd LOVE to hear them!!!

~Suz

There are so many posts I have not read...

Yikes!

I would be here all night trying to play catch up!

I am so tickled t see how hopping this place has been.

so I am off to poke about!

hope you all are well!

For the clouds that the mountain breathed afterward, and my distracted nature that took me on a side jaunt from the store to the hills.

For the peace that filled me as I watch ed the clouds dance in the hills and the blue peek through as the sun sank lower into that sky.

For the light that glistened off the trees so I didn't know if it was wet or icy, but still was struck with wonder.

Today I am grateful for Susie, who shares her real in long and illustrated detail. Who reads my intention along with my words. who make me smile and laugh and weep. I am grateful to you gal, for being real, genuine and authentic.

Today i am grateful for my aunt who sent me a gift card to an art store, with a note that said , " because you see with your heart and capture the emotion, happy painting"

So today I pulled out the paints.

and grateful that i can paint...

Love in abundance