Hey terri! Just introducin myself...hello everyone else, I am Linda Price and have always hated that name because it is so common sounding kids at school would yell, "Price-aroni, the San Francisco Poison!" They got more imaginativeand after my divorce I kept the colorful last name of Barbarito. After Price, it was so exotic and a great way to gab to strangers which I love to do because I really am interested! Everybody had to ask how to spell "Barbarito" so I developed a repertoire saying silly things like, "great Irish name" and they would get sillier saying, "Any relation to Vinnie Barbarino," and ha ha I would laugh and suddenly we were just gabbing and cackling and the ice wasn't only broken it was melted! No one ever asks to spell Price---the name just sits there exciting as congealed pudding in melamine.
Well, if I had stuck with Barbarito it would be just fine but I had to meet and marry Steve Ness after 13 years of being alone. I was so in love I tossed Barbarito out the window of a car on its way to a crash, but of course I didn't know it was going to be our crash----but the signs went from "STOP" to "DEAD END" but when you are convinced this is your soul mate and the one who even wanted to adopt my 13 year old daughter Amber, who hadn't evenseen her father until she was nine, well caution flew out with my exotic last name. Stuck with the monosyllabic name of "Ness" at least I could yammer about Eliot Ness, or my relative "The Loch Ness Monster"until the fateful day I realized just what havoc I had wreaked on my good name. I was the recipient of an award at an English Honors Ceremony, proud and excited to show off to my new husband and beginning thespian daughter. Soon, soon they would call my name, a new one befitting the many awards and accolades I planned to soothe my lingering insecurity with as well as make my new family proud. When they called my name, I froze in shock, my smile more a rictus now. First there was a titter, then giggles, an outright guffaw or two as my red-faced daughter pushed me out of my seat urging me to just go and get it over with. Woodenly, I walked up on stage, unable to ignore the presenter holding his laughter in, just barely. It was as if time had reversed itself and I was once again a laughingstock, like that horrible dream of giving a speech and realizing you had forgotten your clothes.
All the way home I stared at my impossible new name, the worst of them all! Wanting to keep a part of myself independent I had come up with the idea of Keeping the first initial of my maiden name "Price" andfollowing it with "Ness" so mortified I stared at name "Linda P. Ness, which when spoken aloud sounded as if I had the misfortune to be named after the lower region of a man's anatomy.
Yes, har,har, I was Linda Penis and just try shaking a name like that!
Thus, after adventures of all sorts, I have come full circle. Linda Price,, pleased to make your acquaintance and excited to join in this forum with terri and the rest of you.
Just wanted you to know if you slip up and call me "Willow of the Wild Woods," I wouldn't mind a bit!
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